["i'm glad we are all having solitary trauma breakdown experiences" haha
Yeah! That's exactly what's about to happen, actually. Yasusada ran this way with the adrenaline of an impending battle, but all thoughts of Vax, of the safety of the others here, vanishes from his mind at the sight of Nagasone.]
Nagasone-san--!
[His voice tears out of him, raw and horrified--but there's nothing he can do. Nagasone breaks, and then he's gone, just like that.
You make that offer to many people?
The answer to that question doesn't come in words. It comes in the short, rasping breaths Yasusada's struggling to pull in. In the way his eyes haven't moved from the spot on the stage where Nagasone's broken pieces fell. In the way his whole body shakes, tears spilling from his eyes as he shakes his head, over and over.
He can't do this. He can't lose Nagasone--not the way he lost Kashuu. He can't go through this again.
No, no, no--
He watched Okita die already. Kondou. Hijikata. There's a permanent hole in his heart for them--but he'd thought it could get any wider. He'd thought the pain had faded into lingering melancholy. But now, it's like he's the one who's been broken, and the fear has an easy foothold into his heart.
Nagasone, their leader, their beloved captain's beloved sword--if he can fall, then couldn't anyone? Horikawa? Izuminokami? Kashuu? No--not again. He can't do that.
Yasusada is friendly enough, for a weapon. He'll hold out his hand to humans, to spirits, to monsters. But his focus is, ultimately, very narrow; his experiences have not changed that. Right now, his world is down to his family, and them alone.]
no subject
Yeah! That's exactly what's about to happen, actually. Yasusada ran this way with the adrenaline of an impending battle, but all thoughts of Vax, of the safety of the others here, vanishes from his mind at the sight of Nagasone.]
Nagasone-san--!
[His voice tears out of him, raw and horrified--but there's nothing he can do. Nagasone breaks, and then he's gone, just like that.
You make that offer to many people?
The answer to that question doesn't come in words. It comes in the short, rasping breaths Yasusada's struggling to pull in. In the way his eyes haven't moved from the spot on the stage where Nagasone's broken pieces fell. In the way his whole body shakes, tears spilling from his eyes as he shakes his head, over and over.
He can't do this. He can't lose Nagasone--not the way he lost Kashuu. He can't go through this again.
No, no, no--
He watched Okita die already. Kondou. Hijikata. There's a permanent hole in his heart for them--but he'd thought it could get any wider. He'd thought the pain had faded into lingering melancholy. But now, it's like he's the one who's been broken, and the fear has an easy foothold into his heart.
Nagasone, their leader, their beloved captain's beloved sword--if he can fall, then couldn't anyone? Horikawa? Izuminokami? Kashuu? No--not again. He can't do that.
Yasusada is friendly enough, for a weapon. He'll hold out his hand to humans, to spirits, to monsters. But his focus is, ultimately, very narrow; his experiences have not changed that. Right now, his world is down to his family, and them alone.]