The last time he'd felt anything like this, he'd still been no more than a spirit. His anguish had been real, but he hadn't been trapped in this corporeal form, hadn't been reliant on lungs and limbs and awful, awful hearts. He wants to rip it out. He wants to--
Find them...?
Vax appearance startles him out of his own head, though it's difficult to see him properly. Yasusada stares at his face, blurred by tears though it is--because if he doesn't, he'll just see broken pieces falling over and over again.
Find them...
...Maybe--maybe he means their pieces. Their bodies. Maybe if he finds them, he can bring Nagasone home, and Aruji can fix him.
(But what if he can't?
What if, what if--)
The call of Damien's name is enough to drag him out from his thoughts--at least a little. He draws in a shaky breath, turning back towards the seats; Damien's still there. The door is open. They have to get out of this room.
Shakily, he nods at Vax, and starts towards Damien--his limbs feel stiff and cold. Like death. Is he dying too? Does it work like that? He doesn't know. All his years, and he doesn't know a thing.]
Re: cw: past child abuse
(Is this what it felt like for Okita?)
The last time he'd felt anything like this, he'd still been no more than a spirit. His anguish had been real, but he hadn't been trapped in this corporeal form, hadn't been reliant on lungs and limbs and awful, awful hearts. He wants to rip it out. He wants to--
Find them...?
Vax appearance startles him out of his own head, though it's difficult to see him properly. Yasusada stares at his face, blurred by tears though it is--because if he doesn't, he'll just see broken pieces falling over and over again.
Find them...
...Maybe--maybe he means their pieces. Their bodies. Maybe if he finds them, he can bring Nagasone home, and Aruji can fix him.
(But what if he can't?
What if, what if--)
The call of Damien's name is enough to drag him out from his thoughts--at least a little. He draws in a shaky breath, turning back towards the seats; Damien's still there. The door is open. They have to get out of this room.
Shakily, he nods at Vax, and starts towards Damien--his limbs feel stiff and cold. Like death. Is he dying too? Does it work like that? He doesn't know. All his years, and he doesn't know a thing.]