why was she here, anyway? to help? who can she help? what can she even do? isn't it just ego, to run from place to place, thinking if she involves herself, she can make it better, somehow—?
because what has she ever done for anyone here? she couldn't save itsuki. she couldn't save these people. here in the vault, the people have turned to monsters, and those who haven't are terrified. words won't save them. healing magic won't save them. why is she here? what did she really think she could do?
she can't even make herself better. she'd been given a second chance at life, but what can she really say about the person she's become? it's a doctor's job to help people, she'd repeated, so many times, but when it comes down to it... she's selfish. she learned medicine for selfish reasons, and she continues to use it for selfish reasons. maybe there's been some benefit in it for other people, when she's used her medical skills, but - it's been for herself, too.
i want to learn medicine to protect myself and people that i love. nothing more than that.
she wanted to save her mother, because she was afraid to live without her.
she wanted to save herself. her fate had been to die a miserable death, never knowing anything until it was too late, but she's defied that.
she wanted to be a good person. but she's used her knowledge of her first life, over and over, to hurt her aunt and cousin before they could hurt her. the best defense is a good offense, but that's not all -
i will slowly torture them, she'd vowed, the same way they tortured me.
yao qian and su waner were snakes, but she'd become one, too, to fight them. and she won't - can't - regret it, but sometimes she does wonder what sort of person that makes her. she hasn't outright murdered them, but only because that would be too easy.
they're snakes, and she is, too. she's just better at hiding it.
but no more.
the dragon's eye in her inventory glows. she feels herself shifting, changing. who needs legs? scales run down them, and they fuse together into a tail - half snakelike, half draconic. it's dragon scales and not markings that run up her skin, and though it's mostly her own features, they're still obscured - she's still absolutely covered in blood that has congealed into something black and tarlike, staining her hair and her skin. it's just her eyes, glowing an eerie green, that stand out from it.
she bares her teeth, and venom drips from her fangs.
no subject
why was she here, anyway? to help? who can she help? what can she even do? isn't it just ego, to run from place to place, thinking if she involves herself, she can make it better, somehow—?
because what has she ever done for anyone here? she couldn't save itsuki. she couldn't save these people. here in the vault, the people have turned to monsters, and those who haven't are terrified. words won't save them. healing magic won't save them. why is she here? what did she really think she could do?
she can't even make herself better. she'd been given a second chance at life, but what can she really say about the person she's become? it's a doctor's job to help people, she'd repeated, so many times, but when it comes down to it... she's selfish. she learned medicine for selfish reasons, and she continues to use it for selfish reasons. maybe there's been some benefit in it for other people, when she's used her medical skills, but - it's been for herself, too.
i want to learn medicine to protect myself and people that i love. nothing more than that.
she wanted to save her mother, because she was afraid to live without her.
she wanted to save herself. her fate had been to die a miserable death, never knowing anything until it was too late, but she's defied that.
she wanted to be a good person. but she's used her knowledge of her first life, over and over, to hurt her aunt and cousin before they could hurt her. the best defense is a good offense, but that's not all -
i will slowly torture them, she'd vowed, the same way they tortured me.
yao qian and su waner were snakes, but she'd become one, too, to fight them. and she won't - can't - regret it, but sometimes she does wonder what sort of person that makes her. she hasn't outright murdered them, but only because that would be too easy.
they're snakes, and she is, too. she's just better at hiding it.
but no more.
the dragon's eye in her inventory glows. she feels herself shifting, changing. who needs legs? scales run down them, and they fuse together into a tail - half snakelike, half draconic. it's dragon scales and not markings that run up her skin, and though it's mostly her own features, they're still obscured - she's still absolutely covered in blood that has congealed into something black and tarlike, staining her hair and her skin. it's just her eyes, glowing an eerie green, that stand out from it.
she bares her teeth, and venom drips from her fangs.
this will turn the tides.
the question is - against who?]