[first, as you all struggle... a violin plays painfully, overhead. it wriggles into your ears, wraps around your mind, makes it hard to breathe.
blood and ash litters the stage. vax sees the exit. and he jumps.
the room around them glitches, statics out. the violin gets obscured slightly by - something, you can't tell, it's just interfering. tearing. the walls are melting, and reforming, over and over, the seats rattle angrily, there's whispering. the people in the seats all start to writhe, and scream, and then - disintegrate, slowly, pieces of them fading away. there's something you need to remember, but you can't touch it. you won't. it's locked behind so many doors that you don't even remember the way to it anymore. so you hide, in that white space, and you forget.
but that's not the way you should do things, right? someone... someone said to face your fears. but you don't want to. it's easier to run. the back and forth makes you feel sick.
for those of you in the stage room, still, you are now stressed out.
outside, atsushi holds charles, and charles purrs, soft. licks at atsushi gently, tries to comfort. and the walls, outside - the chalk drawings? they dance, a little. sketchlike. a reminder of something good. shhh, shh. it's okay, it's okay. things will be okay, and you will move on, and you will heal.
you're the only one who can, dreamer.
atsushi now feels neutral. enough that he can try to stand, if he wants.]
the noise is horrible - the violin, discordant and screechy - matches their surroundings, and vax's ears twitch as he drops to the ground. the ground? sort of the ground. as the world around him falls apart, instinctively, his hands slap up to his ears and he grips, hard, staring, heartbeat ratcheting.
face his fears. face his fears? he already faced it. he saw it. he saw- he saw someone? he saw someone, someone important die, horrifically, he died, the raven queen with her hands reaching for him, pulling him in -
fears he's overcome are realer than ever. he swears, still gripping the knife so tightly his knuckles are white. ]
Fuck - fuck --
[ the urge is there, still, because his first reaction to stress has always been the same. leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, get out, get out, run away, get out -
he tries to stagger forward, tries to force himself to remember, gripping hard in his hair, the sides of his head, remember, remember. ]
[ is this what it's like for people? damien vaguely wonders - is this what they feel like when he makes them forget? this awful collapse of everything around them, memories trying to push through the cracks in the world? he's getting real fucking tired of having things turned around on him. having the things he does to other people mirrored back to bite him in the ass. having to face consequences.
when vax yells his name he jolts in place, regaining the ability to fucking move. this place is falling apart around him and he thinks it's better not to push back against whatever is fucking with his head. but...
where did atsushi go? he lost track, a little bit. but vax is moving. barely. yams is moving.
mark died on that stage and he didn't move, and as always: it's too little too late. it's never enough, it's never when it counts.
but he does reach out towards yams. and say, very very unsteadily: ]
[It's a bit of a sensory overload--this is nothing like being in a battle, nothing like he's used to. Blood and screaming and steel on steel? That, he knows. But this awful music, these melting walls, none of that is familiar to him. It's almost overwhelming. It is overwhelming. He dropped the sketchbook on the way to the stage, but even if he hadn't, his hands are too shaky to hold anything right now.
But--
More than anything else, Yasusada has always been drawn to people. His people, specifically. Vax and Damien aren't his, not really--but Damien's reaching for him, and Vax spoke to him a moment ago, and. And. It's enough to grasp, albeit just barely.
He reaches back, and grabs Damien's hand, clutching it like a lifeline and stumbling after Vax--with the other, he reaches for Vax, trying to grab at his sleeve, or--anything, really. Anything he can hold onto, while the room is falling to pieces around them and his chest is crushed with terror in the shape of a phantom illness.]
Vax-- Vax. We have to find--[God, he can't think. They have to--] --bake... no, the... cat?
[Right. There's a cat. Okita had to--wait, no, the boy. Atsushi? Atsushi has the cat.
[It feels easier to breathe once he's outside. The purring helps soothe him, and soon his sharp breaths even out to something more mellow, more controlled. Fear isn't driving him anymore. He can actually think now.]
...thank you.
[A quiet murmur to the cat who helped calm him down. Cats really are the best.
When he lifts his head up, he sees those chalk drawings on the wall. They're right there, close enough to touch. Reminding him of happier times. They celebrated a birthday together, didn't they? And they made a cake all on their own.
One red, two blue, and one orange...
But there's only one of the four out there right now. The rest are still facing that nightmare. They couldn't escape when he did, they need help.
His gaze settles on the dancing orange scribble, a thought forming in his mind.]
Amber...
[Atsushi lets go of Charles, letting the cat go where he pleases. Down to the ground, up to his shoulder, wherever. And once Charles has settled, Atsushi will stand up and face that open door again. It takes a couple seconds and a few shaky steps, but once again he's at the threshold, standing just barely outside that door.
It's scary, and it might not work. But he has to try. He can't leave them to get lost.
So he takes one final step in, just barely stepping past the doorway and stopping once he's on the other side. Then he holds up one of his hands palm-up, like he's cupping a bit of water in it. Then, he focuses on his hand and pulls on his magic, letting it spark to life. He doesn't focus on any set form, though: instead he's just trying to draw on his amber magic, forcing as much of that warmth into the space above his hand as he can. If it takes a form, then great. But it's the magic itself that matters more than the object right now.
Warmth. Comfort. Coziness. Safety. Follow his magic.]
Guys, this way!
[It's less of a shout and more him urgently speaking, trying to drag them towards him. By voice or by warmth, he wants them to find their way.
the amber shifts and swirls, and climbs up out of atsushi's hand, glittering brilliantly. and spirals of light and warmth move around the stage area, seeking out vax, damien and yasusada. they form as small tiger cubs, winding around their feet, leading the way out. away, away, out of the discordant noise all around them.
the warmth helps. it's comforting. it'll be okay. follow the cats, follow it out of the stage.
you are still stressed out - but it feels like maybe it's fading, bit by bit. enough to give you the presence of mind to leave.
soft, against your ear, someone whispers: are you waiting for something to happen?]
[ vax doesn't recognize the voice when it whispers, but for a moment, it sounds like the raven queen.
are you waiting for something to happen?
he looks up - up, into the light, then down to the tigers. they're small and round and then suddenly here, and he grabs onto yasusada's sleeve, and then his hand when he grabs onto him, holding tight. it's not much, but it's something. the stress is combined with the fear in his chest and in his throat and the misery feels as heavy as iron, but the light is there.
but the three of them are in here, and atsushi's out there, and they have to get out.
he pulls - claps his other hand against damien's shoulder whatever is uninjured i already forgot as he stumbles forward, too, reassuring. they're going to get out. they're alright. ]
Come on. [ raspy, but steadying, his voice echoes out among the noise, too. the exit. let's go. ]
it's a nostalgic feeling, but also one that's foreign now for how long it's been since he felt it. the distant familiarity of it is hollowing, a persistent ache beneath all the stress, but in the long run the stress is so much bigger.
he gives a tight nod to vax, and follows the tigers out towards the exit, still holding yam's hand. ]
[Those little tigers are adorable and he's going to remember this for future use.
But for now, he'll keep the light/warmth going until those three get close enough to grab, and then he'll grab onto them and work on getting them through the door.
[and out you all go, out into the hallway. the door slams behind you, but not before you hear screaming. familiar voices.
please! don't go! no! wait, wait, WAIT --
-- but it's too late. there is no door there, not now. there is only one door remaining. take a breath, for the moment, recover. the drawings on the wall dance and shiver. the hallway seems... much darker than before, the torches lighting the hallway flickering with the icy wind that blows through. and as you figure out your next move, charles the cat wraps around your legs and purrs.
you feel neutral. but you have no idea for long, as you take in the last door in front of you.
you know this is the most important part yet. will you persist?]
it's not until they're outside that vax finally exhales. he's still holding yasusada's hand, and reflexively, his grip tightens at the scream, because his sister, his sister, but - but, it's not real, he thinks, as charles the cat comes close and spreads more of that warmth.
he takes a deep breath, and looks between the other three. inhale, exhale.
and then rubs his arm across his face. ]
...right.
[ right. ] Some fucking illusion.
[ yeah. maybe. he has to tell himself that. he takes a shaky breath, and then claps atsushi on the shoulder, squeezing hard. even after all of that, tired and haunted and grieving, there's a softness in his eyes, and a genuineness to his - ] ...Thanks, kid. Saved our asses.
[ atsushi being a sweet protagonist saves us all
and that just leaves the final door. after that last one - and truly bolstered by the thought of maybe seeking out vengeance, on whatever the fuck tried to show him that, vax will grab his knife again and head for the door. carefully, slowly, sneakily, but none the less, forward, creeping for the doorknob.
this little daisy chain is staying close together now. ]
unfortunately, when damien hears the voice he immediately wrenches away from the daisy chain. which is a very painful thing to do with his shoulder. and then he makes it worse, turning back around and slamming his hands up against where the door used to be.
but it's just a wall, now.
...
so... i guess it's time to go through that last door. ]
[Yasusada jerks, too--but Vax's grip is firm, and Damien's too late anyway, and... and.
He takes a shuddering breath, dragging air back into his lungs. It should feel better. It hurts worse.
The tigers help as much as they don't; they remind him of Nagasone, and normally, that's warmth and reassurance. But in his head, he can't help seeing those broken pieces, over and over.
Illusion...? Was it...?
He'll believe it was. He has to. He doesn't want to be alone again.
He doesn't want to go through this door, either--but the only way out of the smoke is through the flames. So onward they go.]
[At least he hopes the others would save him if it was needed.
He's really doing better than the others here, probably because he had more time outside of that hell room to calm the fuck down. So while he's not good with bolstering confidence, he still does try to say something.]
[the third door opens. and you head through. behind you, the amber shivers, and dissipates.
it is... dark, here. endlessly. like the white space, there are no walls. there is no floor. just inky, black darkness, the absence of color, and the sound of a soft, ticking clock. SOMETHINGS litter the area, tall creatures that expel darkness to the ground, with agonizing moans. and there are just doors, everywhere, in the distance, sketchy and outlined in white.
thousands of them, but only a specific one calls to you. you remember there is something bad behind the door that speaks your name in whispers. maybe you shouldn't. or... maybe you should?
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saturations) wrote2022-02-21 11:38 am
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blood and ash litters the stage. vax sees the exit. and he jumps.
the room around them glitches, statics out. the violin gets obscured slightly by - something, you can't tell, it's just interfering. tearing. the walls are melting, and reforming, over and over, the seats rattle angrily, there's whispering. the people in the seats all start to writhe, and scream, and then - disintegrate, slowly, pieces of them fading away. there's something you need to remember, but you can't touch it. you won't. it's locked behind so many doors that you don't even remember the way to it anymore. so you hide, in that white space, and you forget.
but that's not the way you should do things, right? someone... someone said to face your fears. but you don't want to. it's easier to run. the back and forth makes you feel sick.
for those of you in the stage room, still, you are now stressed out.
outside, atsushi holds charles, and charles purrs, soft. licks at atsushi gently, tries to comfort. and the walls, outside - the chalk drawings? they dance, a little. sketchlike. a reminder of something good. shhh, shh. it's okay, it's okay. things will be okay, and you will move on, and you will heal.
you're the only one who can, dreamer.
atsushi now feels neutral. enough that he can try to stand, if he wants.]
no subject
the noise is horrible - the violin, discordant and screechy - matches their surroundings, and vax's ears twitch as he drops to the ground. the ground? sort of the ground. as the world around him falls apart, instinctively, his hands slap up to his ears and he grips, hard, staring, heartbeat ratcheting.
face his fears. face his fears? he already faced it. he saw it. he saw- he saw someone? he saw someone, someone important die, horrifically, he died, the raven queen with her hands reaching for him, pulling him in -
fears he's overcome are realer than ever. he swears, still gripping the knife so tightly his knuckles are white. ]
Fuck - fuck --
[ the urge is there, still, because his first reaction to stress has always been the same. leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, get out, get out, run away, get out -
he tries to stagger forward, tries to force himself to remember, gripping hard in his hair, the sides of his head, remember, remember. ]
no subject
when vax yells his name he jolts in place, regaining the ability to fucking move. this place is falling apart around him and he thinks it's better not to push back against whatever is fucking with his head. but...
where did atsushi go? he lost track, a little bit. but vax is moving. barely. yams is moving.
mark died on that stage and he didn't move, and as always: it's too little too late. it's never enough, it's never when it counts.
but he does reach out towards yams. and say, very very unsteadily: ]
Come on.
no subject
But--
More than anything else, Yasusada has always been drawn to people. His people, specifically. Vax and Damien aren't his, not really--but Damien's reaching for him, and Vax spoke to him a moment ago, and. And. It's enough to grasp, albeit just barely.
He reaches back, and grabs Damien's hand, clutching it like a lifeline and stumbling after Vax--with the other, he reaches for Vax, trying to grab at his sleeve, or--anything, really. Anything he can hold onto, while the room is falling to pieces around them and his chest is crushed with terror in the shape of a phantom illness.]
Vax-- Vax. We have to find--[God, he can't think. They have to--] --bake... no, the... cat?
[Right. There's a cat. Okita had to--wait, no, the boy. Atsushi? Atsushi has the cat.
Now, which way do they go?]
no subject
...thank you.
[A quiet murmur to the cat who helped calm him down. Cats really are the best.
When he lifts his head up, he sees those chalk drawings on the wall. They're right there, close enough to touch. Reminding him of happier times. They celebrated a birthday together, didn't they? And they made a cake all on their own.
One red, two blue, and one orange...
But there's only one of the four out there right now. The rest are still facing that nightmare. They couldn't escape when he did, they need help.
His gaze settles on the dancing orange scribble, a thought forming in his mind.]
Amber...
[Atsushi lets go of Charles, letting the cat go where he pleases. Down to the ground, up to his shoulder, wherever. And once Charles has settled, Atsushi will stand up and face that open door again. It takes a couple seconds and a few shaky steps, but once again he's at the threshold, standing just barely outside that door.
It's scary, and it might not work. But he has to try. He can't leave them to get lost.
So he takes one final step in, just barely stepping past the doorway and stopping once he's on the other side. Then he holds up one of his hands palm-up, like he's cupping a bit of water in it. Then, he focuses on his hand and pulls on his magic, letting it spark to life. He doesn't focus on any set form, though: instead he's just trying to draw on his amber magic, forcing as much of that warmth into the space above his hand as he can. If it takes a form, then great. But it's the magic itself that matters more than the object right now.
Warmth. Comfort. Coziness. Safety. Follow his magic.]
Guys, this way!
[It's less of a shout and more him urgently speaking, trying to drag them towards him. By voice or by warmth, he wants them to find their way.
Come back to him, before it's too late.]
no subject
the amber shifts and swirls, and climbs up out of atsushi's hand, glittering brilliantly. and spirals of light and warmth move around the stage area, seeking out vax, damien and yasusada. they form as small tiger cubs, winding around their feet, leading the way out. away, away, out of the discordant noise all around them.
the warmth helps. it's comforting. it'll be okay. follow the cats, follow it out of the stage.
you are still stressed out - but it feels like maybe it's fading, bit by bit. enough to give you the presence of mind to leave.
soft, against your ear, someone whispers: are you waiting for something to happen?]
no subject
are you waiting for something to happen?
he looks up - up, into the light, then down to the tigers. they're small and round and then suddenly here, and he grabs onto yasusada's sleeve, and then his hand when he grabs onto him, holding tight. it's not much, but it's something. the stress is combined with the fear in his chest and in his throat and the misery feels as heavy as iron, but the light is there.
but the three of them are in here, and atsushi's out there, and they have to get out.
he pulls - claps his other hand against damien's shoulder whatever is uninjured i already forgot as he stumbles forward, too, reassuring. they're going to get out. they're alright. ]
Come on. [ raspy, but steadying, his voice echoes out among the noise, too. the exit. let's go. ]
no subject
[ the three of them all have each other.
it's a nostalgic feeling, but also one that's foreign now for how long it's been since he felt it. the distant familiarity of it is hollowing, a persistent ache beneath all the stress, but in the long run the stress is so much bigger.
he gives a tight nod to vax, and follows the tigers out towards the exit, still holding yam's hand. ]
no subject
But for now, he'll keep the light/warmth going until those three get close enough to grab, and then he'll grab onto them and work on getting them through the door.
Charles, do your cat thing and purr on them!]
no subject
please! don't go! no! wait, wait, WAIT --
-- but it's too late. there is no door there, not now. there is only one door remaining. take a breath, for the moment, recover. the drawings on the wall dance and shiver. the hallway seems... much darker than before, the torches lighting the hallway flickering with the icy wind that blows through. and as you figure out your next move, charles the cat wraps around your legs and purrs.
you feel neutral. but you have no idea for long, as you take in the last door in front of you.
you know this is the most important part yet. will you persist?]
no subject
it's not until they're outside that vax finally exhales. he's still holding yasusada's hand, and reflexively, his grip tightens at the scream, because his sister, his sister, but - but, it's not real, he thinks, as charles the cat comes close and spreads more of that warmth.
he takes a deep breath, and looks between the other three. inhale, exhale.
and then rubs his arm across his face. ]
...right.
[ right. ] Some fucking illusion.
[ yeah. maybe. he has to tell himself that. he takes a shaky breath, and then claps atsushi on the shoulder, squeezing hard. even after all of that, tired and haunted and grieving, there's a softness in his eyes, and a genuineness to his - ] ...Thanks, kid. Saved our asses.
[ atsushi being a sweet protagonist saves us all
and that just leaves the final door. after that last one - and truly bolstered by the thought of maybe seeking out vengeance, on whatever the fuck tried to show him that, vax will grab his knife again and head for the door. carefully, slowly, sneakily, but none the less, forward, creeping for the doorknob.
this little daisy chain is staying close together now. ]
no subject
unfortunately, when damien hears the voice he immediately wrenches away from the daisy chain. which is a very painful thing to do with his shoulder. and then he makes it worse, turning back around and slamming his hands up against where the door used to be.
but it's just a wall, now.
...
so... i guess it's time to go through that last door. ]
no subject
He takes a shuddering breath, dragging air back into his lungs. It should feel better. It hurts worse.
The tigers help as much as they don't; they remind him of Nagasone, and normally, that's warmth and reassurance. But in his head, he can't help seeing those broken pieces, over and over.
Illusion...? Was it...?
He'll believe it was. He has to. He doesn't want to be alone again.
He doesn't want to go through this door, either--but the only way out of the smoke is through the flames. So onward they go.]
no subject
[At least he hopes the others would save him if it was needed.
He's really doing better than the others here, probably because he had more time outside of that hell room to calm the fuck down. So while he's not good with bolstering confidence, he still does try to say something.]
We can make it, there's only one more.
[As long as they stay together.
...and hold hands, daisy chain time.]
no subject
it is... dark, here. endlessly. like the white space, there are no walls. there is no floor. just inky, black darkness, the absence of color, and the sound of a soft, ticking clock. SOMETHINGS litter the area, tall creatures that expel darkness to the ground, with agonizing moans. and there are just doors, everywhere, in the distance, sketchy and outlined in white.
thousands of them, but only a specific one calls to you. you remember there is something bad behind the door that speaks your name in whispers. maybe you shouldn't. or... maybe you should?
do you persist?]