[ emet is much nicer than vax who just sneaks in all the time. vax is also here, peering out from behind emet's back once he's shut the door and stepping out into the hall. ]
By his standards, anyway. I'll make him get back in there, but figured he could come out with supervision.
[ vax winks at bass with that, obviously just being a shit! he's such a responsible adult. they are both responsible and good at taking care of this large man. ]
I just don't want to hear you wheeze anymore. [he mutters sullenly. he's going to just... lay on both of them, somehow.] I don't know what I wanna do. I haven't felt like getting up.
he bats back at emet with his own wing, deflecting this like a five year old, but then grins at fret! that's fine he can just stretch across them both, vax makes a decent (if a little bony) pillow. ]
Mm. Yeah. Could try and take pictures of your weird pokemon or whatever again, if you want.
he looks down at him for a long moment, and then sighs, reaching down to gently run his fingers into bass's hair. ]
... Honestly? When I was as young as you were, I used to do stupid shit to try and feel something. [ it's a very candid answer - and not necessarily one he wants bass to follow in, so he doesn't spend long on it. ] ...but when I'd get stuck on it, I'd go and spend time with my sister.
Even if it was just - helping her groom Trink, or trying to catch us or steal us food, or even sitting with her and fletching her stupid arrows. Used to be the only thing that helped, and even sometimes, that didn't work. But spending time with her kept me moving.
he nods, a little, shoulders hunching. blue ripples through his feathers - the dark black colors flickering to a deep shade of marine, almost navy. ]
... I had to. Even when I didn't want to, I had to keep putting one foot in one front of the other. Vex needed me, even when I didn't want me. ...Eventually, more people came to be pretty fucking important in my life - and I learned how to start to rely on them.
Didn't make the numb go away, though. Still have it, sometimes.
I have never experienced the same, but- I believe simply moving forward is often the best thing to be done. The circumstance of one day may well change with another.
[one raven wing stretches out, reaching to curl around vax as well, encompassing all three of them.]
And those with whom one surrounds themselves... Vax is right in this, as well.
....If you lose those people, then they aren't always gone - they're still with you. [ vax's voice is soft, there, affected - he thinks about their most recent loss, about everyone they've lost in the prism, but...
... his own life, too. some part of him has wondered - wouldn't it be easier to be forgotten? is it worse, to hope with some tiny, tiny part of him that his family, his friends, that they still remember him when he's dead and gone? he is gone, after all, fate-touched. just a walking ghost, a celestial without his wings, without his purpose.
... for now. always, for now. ]
... If you ask me, I think having them is worth the risk. [ for a small, meaningful moment, vax's eyes flick over to emet, when the wing curls a bit around his shoulder. ] It's better to love and lose than it is to have never loved at all.
And even if they're gone, you pick up the pieces, and you fucking hold onto their memory, and you keep moving. Everyone leaves a mark on you, Bass. 's how it's been to me.
[it's not something he likes to think about, with what he's been told of the future. this idea that he will lose his people for good, that he will be alone-- what it will make him become.
but he catches that glance from vax, and just. exhales, slow.]
...the memories of them are not something that may be taken so easily. Not for good. I think that much has been proven here, has it not?
[they may have been gone for a time, and they may be slow to return. but they are returning.]
You were not alone to begin with. You simply did not know. And you shall not have to be now.
he knows it is, but it's too raw, and it feels too big. thinking about it too long makes his chest hurt, makes it hard to breathe. the future is so uncertain and it feels like he's adrift at sea, with only half-memories and unsteady footing. a girl he liked died, a girl he considered a sister died, and now he's sitting here - with two men he's started to think of as family. people he'd do anything for.
you shall not have to be, now. it's the warmest he's felt, since thursday. he loves them both.]
... You guys are gonna leave someday, though. [he mumbles, swallowing hard.] So maybe it's better if I forget.
[ point blank, immediately - the pain in bass's voice is so fucking familiar, because he had this exact same conversation with vin, weeks ago. maybe it's not the same, though, because vax has grown since then, and he thinks, maybe i deserve to be remembered.
he reaches down and pinches bass's nose. not hard, but like vex'ahlia would do to him when he was spiraling. when he did spiral, a few weeks ago. ]
I'm the Raven Queen's champion. You think you're going to get rid of me that easily? Outside of this fucking place, I'm immortal because I'm already dead, and I'll chase you down across a universe if I have to to remind you you aren't by yourself.
[ and then releases his nose. ] Don't start down that road.
[-he laughs quietly, watching him pinch bass's nose. they are both foolish, and he thinks he likes it that way.]
Mm. The Raven Queen's champion, and the keeper of the Underworld itself. Do you think either of us will leave things be so easily?
[because... well, there must be ways. they were all brought here, weren't they? and meteion is a creation made to reach the distant stars. she will need to be altered, clearly, given the difficulties with her mission, but--
there are ways, to bring together people from far-flung worlds. and dead or not, he can see all.]
[he doesn't know exactly what to do with the nose pinch, either - it kind of startles him out of his angst, and he just blinks, with a little hiccup.
he hasn't really cried for real since chinatsu - he's been keeping it quiet, to himself. he's gotten close, but he hasn't been able to let himself collapse like he did before. not because he didn't want to, it just - felt impossible. he's spent so long running from the negative that confronting it sounds like trying to run into a brick wall, over and over, but.
you dummy, we're not leaving you, they say, even if things change. even if they're not here, in the prism, the fact that they'd try to find him all the same -- well.
he breaks, a little, and brings his hands up to cover his face. noooooo. don't look at him while he cries, it's so embarrassing.....]
the nose pinch works great on him for this exact reason also. as bass wibbles, vax huffs, a little, and then reaches down to put his hand on top of his head, bringing his wing back over to drape a little over him like a protective barrier so he can break down if he wants.
vax looks at emet over his head while this is happening, though, expression smoothing out a little into a slightly relieved, tired, but no less genuine smile. being a teen parent is hard work (no) (yes) ]
's gonna be alright, Bass. We're a bunch of stubborn assholes, if you haven't noticed.
[well, okay, since he's being hidden from view he will just cry, then. he just clings for a bit, hiccup-crying until he wears himself out.
by the time he's finished, he's pretty much just boneless against emet and vax both. this weekend sucked, y'all, there's only so much a teen can take before they just wail on their parental figures for a bit and zone out tiredly.
he's smushed himself up against emet's side, but he reaches and takes vax's hand and pulls him closer. cuddle pile, now!!!
and with a worn out shiver-sigh, he mumbles:] I believe you.
[ he will take this tug without any resistance at all, unfolding from his spot and moving to take up his other side. frankly, there's more than enough space for them both because emet is huge, anyway? so.
he tilts his head to bonk it gently on top of bass's once they're settled, and lets the wing on the outside of their little pile wrap around to complete it. it's warm and safe and feathery in here. ] Love you, kid. Believe that, too.
[he lets them settle, comfortably. eases into this pile.
.......and is silent, at first, because he is emotionally constipated and has never told anyone he loves them so this is a difficult moment for him, he feels like he should and he does love bass, he thinks, but knowing it and saying it are two absolutely different things.
emet-selch ruffles bass's hair, while he internally has a debate about this.]
[thankfully, bass has enough experience with emet that this makes him laugh - it's kind of wet and snotty and gross but it's a laugh, and he pinches emet gently in the side.
but he's comfortable here, and while maybe bass is emotionally constipated about negative feelings, the positive ones he doesn't have as much of a struggle with. it feels easy to just respond.]
I love you both too. [he mumbles, soaking up the feeling.]
[ vax also laughs - at the exact same time as bass, a snicker that dissolves into laughter the minute bass retaliates with the pinch.
this is something they have in common, at least. unlike poor, tsundere emet, who is about to have to suffer a very long week of hanahaki. vax'ildan's amusement remains on his face, and he clears his throat. ]
What is it you said? [ to emet, in his most (terrible) proper accent: ] 'You're not the most objectionable company?'
[ this is very teasing. he will soothe the immediate ruffle of any metaphorical (or literal) feathers by just barely dislodging himself from the pile enough to steal a kiss from emet who is right there, playfully covering bass's face again with his wing to hide the peck, to get more of those snotty giggles and less of his abject misery.
though emet gets back a less teasing, ] Love you, big guy. Just to bring the whole circle 'round. [ gross. gay dads hours ]
[he is PINCHED AND CALLED OUT, nose wrinkling, feathers ruffling... but vax steals that kiss, and he allows it, letting him lean in. this is fine. hearing bass laugh again, that's the important part here.
--and then vax drops a love you on him, and he has No idea what to do with this. his feathers ghibli poof, eyes wide, the shadow in his form stretching to cover him, as if that might hide him.
even so... it ripples iridiscent, an oilspill of soft pink-orange, warmer orange, yellow against the black. a little hint of marine blue.
[ so many colors... the expression on emet's face.... vax's smile cracks wider and he just looks very, very pleased, and very, very fond as he lifts his wing off of bass's face so he can witness this reaction. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
saturations) wrote2022-03-27 03:02 pm
w5, SUNDAY
this is a lazy starter it's all you get.]
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[as always, just to let him know he's here.]
You do not object to company, do you?
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Hey.
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Oh - hey. [he rubs at his eyes.] Yeah. I don't wanna be alone, you guys can stay.
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Then so we shall.
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Figured you could use the company. What do you wanna do?
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presumably he has been bc i put in for it so yes, he just rolls his eyes, tapping a hand against his side.]
Yes, yes, I am well enough now.
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By his standards, anyway. I'll make him get back in there, but figured he could come out with supervision.
[ vax winks at bass with that, obviously just being a shit! he's such a responsible adult. they are both responsible and good at taking care of this large man. ]
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he flops back down on the couch.]
I just don't want to hear you wheeze anymore. [he mutters sullenly. he's going to just... lay on both of them, somehow.] I don't know what I wanna do. I haven't felt like getting up.
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[you little shit. one wing extends to whap lightly at vax.
he lets bass settle, though, shifting so he can get comfortable.]
You needn't do anything if you do not wish to. We can simply stay.
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he bats back at emet with his own wing, deflecting this like a five year old, but then grins at fret! that's fine he can just stretch across them both, vax makes a decent (if a little bony) pillow. ]
Mm. Yeah. Could try and take pictures of your weird pokemon or whatever again, if you want.
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What d'you guys do when nothing sounds like it's worth doing anymore?
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[emet-selch glances down to him, brow furrowed, a hand shifting to rest on his shoulder. but-
well. he has zero experience with that, just glancing up and giving vax a look. help.]
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he looks down at him for a long moment, and then sighs, reaching down to gently run his fingers into bass's hair. ]
... Honestly? When I was as young as you were, I used to do stupid shit to try and feel something. [ it's a very candid answer - and not necessarily one he wants bass to follow in, so he doesn't spend long on it. ] ...but when I'd get stuck on it, I'd go and spend time with my sister.
Even if it was just - helping her groom Trink, or trying to catch us or steal us food, or even sitting with her and fletching her stupid arrows. Used to be the only thing that helped, and even sometimes, that didn't work. But spending time with her kept me moving.
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So you just kept moving. [he says, quietly.]
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he nods, a little, shoulders hunching. blue ripples through his feathers - the dark black colors flickering to a deep shade of marine, almost navy. ]
... I had to. Even when I didn't want to, I had to keep putting one foot in one front of the other. Vex needed me, even when I didn't want me. ...Eventually, more people came to be pretty fucking important in my life - and I learned how to start to rely on them.
Didn't make the numb go away, though. Still have it, sometimes.
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[one raven wing stretches out, reaching to curl around vax as well, encompassing all three of them.]
And those with whom one surrounds themselves... Vax is right in this, as well.
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[the numbness, he means.]
... Having people is good, yeah, but what if I lose those, too? [it's terrifying to think about. he's lost two. if he lost what he has left...]
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....If you lose those people, then they aren't always gone - they're still with you. [ vax's voice is soft, there, affected - he thinks about their most recent loss, about everyone they've lost in the prism, but...
... his own life, too. some part of him has wondered - wouldn't it be easier to be forgotten? is it worse, to hope with some tiny, tiny part of him that his family, his friends, that they still remember him when he's dead and gone? he is gone, after all, fate-touched. just a walking ghost, a celestial without his wings, without his purpose.
... for now. always, for now. ]
... If you ask me, I think having them is worth the risk. [ for a small, meaningful moment, vax's eyes flick over to emet, when the wing curls a bit around his shoulder. ] It's better to love and lose than it is to have never loved at all.
And even if they're gone, you pick up the pieces, and you fucking hold onto their memory, and you keep moving. Everyone leaves a mark on you, Bass. 's how it's been to me.
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but he catches that glance from vax, and just. exhales, slow.]
...the memories of them are not something that may be taken so easily. Not for good. I think that much has been proven here, has it not?
[they may have been gone for a time, and they may be slow to return. but they are returning.]
You were not alone to begin with. You simply did not know. And you shall not have to be now.
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he knows it is, but it's too raw, and it feels too big. thinking about it too long makes his chest hurt, makes it hard to breathe. the future is so uncertain and it feels like he's adrift at sea, with only half-memories and unsteady footing. a girl he liked died, a girl he considered a sister died, and now he's sitting here - with two men he's started to think of as family. people he'd do anything for.
you shall not have to be, now. it's the warmest he's felt, since thursday. he loves them both.]
... You guys are gonna leave someday, though. [he mumbles, swallowing hard.] So maybe it's better if I forget.
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[ point blank, immediately - the pain in bass's voice is so fucking familiar, because he had this exact same conversation with vin, weeks ago. maybe it's not the same, though, because vax has grown since then, and he thinks, maybe i deserve to be remembered.
he reaches down and pinches bass's nose. not hard, but like vex'ahlia would do to him when he was spiraling. when he did spiral, a few weeks ago. ]
I'm the Raven Queen's champion. You think you're going to get rid of me that easily? Outside of this fucking place, I'm immortal because I'm already dead, and I'll chase you down across a universe if I have to to remind you you aren't by yourself.
[ and then releases his nose. ] Don't start down that road.
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Mm. The Raven Queen's champion, and the keeper of the Underworld itself. Do you think either of us will leave things be so easily?
[because... well, there must be ways. they were all brought here, weren't they? and meteion is a creation made to reach the distant stars. she will need to be altered, clearly, given the difficulties with her mission, but--
there are ways, to bring together people from far-flung worlds. and dead or not, he can see all.]
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he hasn't really cried for real since chinatsu - he's been keeping it quiet, to himself. he's gotten close, but he hasn't been able to let himself collapse like he did before. not because he didn't want to, it just - felt impossible. he's spent so long running from the negative that confronting it sounds like trying to run into a brick wall, over and over, but.
you dummy, we're not leaving you, they say, even if things change. even if they're not here, in the prism, the fact that they'd try to find him all the same -- well.
he breaks, a little, and brings his hands up to cover his face. noooooo. don't look at him while he cries, it's so embarrassing.....]
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the nose pinch works great on him for this exact reason also. as bass wibbles, vax huffs, a little, and then reaches down to put his hand on top of his head, bringing his wing back over to drape a little over him like a protective barrier so he can break down if he wants.
vax looks at emet over his head while this is happening, though, expression smoothing out a little into a slightly relieved, tired, but no less genuine smile. being a teen parent is hard work (no) (yes) ]
's gonna be alright, Bass. We're a bunch of stubborn assholes, if you haven't noticed.
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he doesn't look directly at bass, with the way he's hiding his face, but:]
In quite some few ways, as well. We shall not be leaving here until matters have been set right.
[until he's regained everything he lost, until whatever is happening here can be stopped.]
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by the time he's finished, he's pretty much just boneless against emet and vax both. this weekend sucked, y'all, there's only so much a teen can take before they just wail on their parental figures for a bit and zone out tiredly.
he's smushed himself up against emet's side, but he reaches and takes vax's hand and pulls him closer. cuddle pile, now!!!
and with a worn out shiver-sigh, he mumbles:] I believe you.
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[ he will take this tug without any resistance at all, unfolding from his spot and moving to take up his other side. frankly, there's more than enough space for them both because emet is huge, anyway? so.
he tilts his head to bonk it gently on top of bass's once they're settled, and lets the wing on the outside of their little pile wrap around to complete it. it's warm and safe and feathery in here. ] Love you, kid. Believe that, too.
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.......and is silent, at first, because he is emotionally constipated and has never told anyone he loves them so this is a difficult moment for him, he feels like he should and he does love bass, he thinks, but knowing it and saying it are two absolutely different things.
emet-selch ruffles bass's hair, while he internally has a debate about this.]
-yes.
[he says, eloquently.]
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but he's comfortable here, and while maybe bass is emotionally constipated about negative feelings, the positive ones he doesn't have as much of a struggle with. it feels easy to just respond.]
I love you both too. [he mumbles, soaking up the feeling.]
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this is something they have in common, at least. unlike poor, tsundere emet, who is about to have to suffer a very long week of hanahaki. vax'ildan's amusement remains on his face, and he clears his throat. ]
What is it you said? [ to emet, in his most (terrible) proper accent: ] 'You're not the most objectionable company?'
[ this is very teasing. he will soothe the immediate ruffle of any metaphorical (or literal) feathers by just barely dislodging himself from the pile enough to steal a kiss from emet who is right there, playfully covering bass's face again with his wing to hide the peck, to get more of those snotty giggles and less of his abject misery.
though emet gets back a less teasing, ] Love you, big guy. Just to bring the whole circle 'round. [ gross. gay dads hours ]
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[he is PINCHED AND CALLED OUT, nose wrinkling, feathers ruffling... but vax steals that kiss, and he allows it, letting him lean in. this is fine. hearing bass laugh again, that's the important part here.
--and then vax drops a love you on him, and he has No idea what to do with this. his feathers ghibli poof, eyes wide, the shadow in his form stretching to cover him, as if that might hide him.
even so... it ripples iridiscent, an oilspill of soft pink-orange, warmer orange, yellow against the black. a little hint of marine blue.
help]
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vax does, in fact, get more giggles, and a loud groooosss that he doesn't really mean. it makes him happy to know they're happy.]
Yeah. [he says, cheerfully, watching emet lose his entire mind.] Of course both of us.
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Good translating, Bass. [ ♥ ♥ ]