Week 6 cyoa: hei, jiuqing, vin, and kashuu

[saturations]

spoiler warnings: ff14 heavensward and some light endwalker elements
content warnings: violence, death, war, terrorism (short), brief mentions/references for eyegore, brief mention/reference for decapitation, depression, suicidal ideation (nihilist flavor), suicide, dragons and monsters eating people

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[disestablishment]

We are here because we want to be here, i-di-ot.

[ Kashuu copy is also a mean girl. It is him, after all.

They can bite at each other with words all they want, but the scene changes... It is Falcon's Nest with Haurchefant and Vax—but clearly it isn't Haurchefant anymore. It is Yasusada, holding the shield to block the incoming arrow of light that would surely snipe Kashuu and Vin. They watch as the shield breaks, the arrow crosses through.

Yasusada dies.

He dies with a smile... But this Kashuu frowns at the sight because—they're not happy. Quickly, monochrome Kashuu turns to him and yells, clearly upset and emotional watching Yasusada die. ]

I am saying the things you want to say!

[slashay]

[HE'S NEVER BEEN LESS CUTE THAN HE IS IN THIS MOMENT AS A MONOCHROME VERSION OF HIS REGULARASS MEAN SELF.

It hurts him to see that, too, even know it's not-- real. But it could have been, and it nearly was, and he does hate so very, very badly that people continue to endanger themselves for his sake. Does he really want to be here, away from everyone he loves, because he's that afraid of hurting or being hurt again and again? Is he that much of a coward?

There's no one here to lash out at but himself, so he does.]

Well, shut up and stop saying them, then—!! I don't wanna hear it!

[disestablishment]

STOP TELLING US TO SHUT UP, UGLY! We are hurting! There is no happiness without end!

[ And this one... It is Okita. This scene where it should be Aymeric fighting the monsters and dragons alone, worried for his people, it flickers to show it's Okita with a smile. In his hand is a unworthy sword, one from Ishgard, but he makes use of it.

He kills, he saves, and he's living for it even if he must pause to cough up blood. The disease... It's catching up to him now, but then he locks his gaze onto someone he thinks is familiar. It's a pretty, small and cute boy. It reminds him of his sword which he doesn't have.

... He misses his swords.

Without thinking, Okita casts cover onto Kashuu and takes the damage for him. He was already on the edge and now this is his end. ]

No one can love us forever! Why live?!

[ But then there's a voice... It's a familiar voice that comes to Kashuu. It gives him warmth, it ushers him on.

"I love you. I'm here. We're here."

Don't lose hope. ]

[slashay]

[He's angry and he's hurting and he hates this, hates what he's being shown and hates what he's hearing. He wants to curl in on himself, away from the lashing out, both giving and receiving.

It's that familiar voice that he reaches out to with desperation, holding onto it so very, very tightly. As he can expect, it's always, always him.]

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking—!! I don't care what you want!! I wanna go back - I don't wanna be here again!!

[The peace has passed, the memory of hundreds of years of nothingness pressing down on him instead. He doesn't want to be alone again, even if it hurts to be with others.]

I'm leaving!!

[disestablishment]

This is what we want.

[ Monokuma Kashuu speaks this calmly like before, like he has accepted this. They can be without emotions. They don't need to hurt, but then when Kashuu keeps saying he wants to go back, the copy falters a bit.

And the void it glitches, to show all of Kashuu's sad past, even gruesome and hurtful thing that has transpired in his long sword life, including here in the Prism. ]

We... We don't want to go back. We... Don't want to go back to a world takes love away from us.

[ He says that, but there's a crack in this copy that Kashuu can easily see. This is his mirror, after all. He can see, here and now, that this copy needs reassurance.

... Kashuu himself needs that reassurance.

Another voice comes, ushering Kashuu to not lose hope: "When you broke, I wanted to be by your side. Even if I couldn't have done anything. Even if it didn't change anything."

He must fight this. He must not succumb. ]

[slashay]

[If anything, this is something he can do. He's spent over half a millennia not succumbing, after all. No matter what agonies he sees, what painful things he's forced to witness, what he has to live out and endure and suffer through over and over again... He has never fallen to the weight of his own misery.

Now won't be any different.

...But it's hard, isn't it? To push forward alone. There must be some part of him, then, that knows this. That wants to hide from the suffering. That doesn't want to have love, only to lose it. Maybe it's okay for that part to exist, even if it's ugly, even if it's unpleasant.

He's quiet for a second, sitting with his thoughts and with his painfully human heart.]

--We do. We wanna go back. Even if it hurts, even if life is scary and sad... It's been worth it all these years, hasn't it? We kept going after all this time.

[Not even death could stop him.]

Let's go. Yasusada's waiting... Everyone's waiting.

[disestablishment]

[ ... This Kashuu's face scrunches because the self-loathing is so much, but his shoulders shake. The words settle on him, still. As he shuts his eyes, no tears well, but his color returns.

This black void—it blooms with flowers. ]

... They're waiting for us.

[ This Kashuu disappears. In this test of wills, Kashuu overcame his despair. ]