the prism (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
saturations) wrote2022-03-28 05:46 pm
saturations) wrote2022-03-28 05:46 pm
Entry tags:
Week 6 cyoa: hei, jiuqing, vin, and kashuu
spoiler warnings: ff14 heavensward and some light endwalker elements
content warnings: violence, death, war, terrorism (short), brief mentions/references for eyegore, brief mention/reference for decapitation, depression, suicidal ideation (nihilist flavor), suicide, dragons and monsters eating people
no subject
...but she's lived through that. she's changed it. the loops play out, over and over, but she knows it doesn't have to stay that way.]
It can get better. [her voice shakes.] We can make it better. I'm not... I won't give up on that. I can't.
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[ And with that, the scene flickers to Ysayle shielding Jiuqing from Nidhoggstinien. Except, in her place, it is her two best friends Yujiao and Ying.
It isn't a distanced view, but one upfront to watch how they both do their best against a man possessed by a dragon. They hold their own, looking as confident as they can, even though they know there is no way to win. Jiuqing watches as Yujiao falls, blood pooling her clothes, then Ying beside her.
They look at each other, smiling with tears in their eyes as they reach out for the other's hand. Before they can even receive this comfort, Nidhogg would swallow them whole. ]
We cannot control it.
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[her voice is a little shrill, and there are tears in her eyes - it hurts to watch this, but more than anything, it makes her angry.
how dare this place use her friends against her like this?]
They're not here. There are no dragons in Daxing. They're safely at home, waiting for me, and I will not let you stop me from going back to them!
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[ And then another piece of the dragon trials unlock... It is Chang Geng. This is the trial where she would experience the loops of killing and be killed, after the soft moment where he would tell her his appreciation for her company.
It's still paved in blood, in fear, and it is something she will remember too vividly. The black residue painting her skin and clothes? Blood. ]
We are here because we want to be here!
[ But there is a voice and it brings her some comfort, some warmth.
"Whatever you've been through, whatever was done that's touched these memories, well... I would be... honored to make more with you."
Do not lose hope. ]
no subject
[...but she shudders, when the scene changes.
it's vivid, loop after loop after loop - of being caught there with him when she knows it shouldn't have been her memory, of things he tried to say that she was afraid to hear, of how no matter what they tried, his death or hers was never able to be prevented.
she couldn't save him. not even once. his blood stains her hands, her skin, her clothes - she likely won't be able to shake it off no matter how much she tries. and it makes her heart sink to know that -
but that voice...]
...Percy...?
[...they have to live, if they're to make more memories.
she can't give up here. she won't.]
Speak for yourself! I never said I want to be here! I want to go back to them!
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[ Monochrome Jiuqing yells at her again, very sure. She has gone through so much pain—she has followed you through your journey. She shared it with you.
The next scene would be how she couldn't save Itsuki. She couldn't comfort him enough... And he would turn into a monster that kills innocents in the Vault. In this scene, the people there are from the Prism, innocent and looking for refuge—then her own transformation.
She kills the rest. ]
We... Don't want to be a monster anymore.
[ But another voice gives comfort, the warmth offered ushers her to not lose sight of hope.
"... something to remember. That we are not alone." ]
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[she never wanted to be here at all. she doesn't want to be alone, in the darkness, the silence - she wants to be with the people she cares about. they're stronger together.
we are not alone.
tears form in the corners of her eyes, and she grits her teeth.]
Where we belong is by their side. They'll... they'll understand. Send me back. Send me back right now!
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[ The copy falters with tears welling in her eyes, shaking in her resolve. Desperately, this copy doesn't want to be blamed for crimes Jiuqing didn't commit. This copy doesn't want them to be seen as a monster.
The dragon trials unlock again, this time Percival accusing Jiuqing for murdering Chang Geng. Everyone looks at her with disgust—this copy doesn't want that. ]
They will see us as a monster.
[ This is a weak, but sorrowfully sad statement. There is cracks in it, like it wants to be reassured, but is too scared.
And the void glitches, it would show all of the sad and gruesome moments in Jiuqing's lives, including here in the Prism.
But another voice continues to push her: "You're a shining star. Wherever you go, you'll shine bright. I'll be behind you all the way." ]
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[jiuqing is - trying to convince this copy of herself as well as herself, but she latches onto that voice, that hope.]
We have to trust them. I know it's hard. I know that, but I want to, and - you do too, don't you? If you're me, I know you do!
Send us back!
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This black void—it blooms with flowers. ]
... We want to believe.
[ This Jiuqing closes her eyes, then slowly disappears. In this test of wills, Jiuqing overcame her despair. ]