saturations | AUDIENCE FOR: yamatonokami yasusada

[they will take this a little more seriously.]

That's true. If we can't remember, it's really hard to know.
But I tend to rely a lot on feelings, and I don't feel like I want to leave.

I do that a lot too
and its usually okay
but not always

Sometimes they lead you astray...?

yeah
and
sometimes you just feel too much
and you forget to look at the other people

Do you think that's what the four of us are doing? Letting our feelings lead us astray?

Or are you talking about your own experience?

[That's a great question]

first i was talking about you
and then i was talking about me
and now i dont know anymore

[He's confused himself]

That's alright.
It's good advice for anyone.
But it also helps me understand you a little better, knowing that happened to you.

i dont know if it happened to me
its more like
its a choice that i made becsue of how i felt
well not just me either but thats why
i wanted to go on a journey to gt stronger

Stronger in what way?

my skills but
mostly my heart?? i think
i love aruji but i still think all the time about okitakun
i know its not bad but sometimes its hard to focus on our mission
and thats not fair to aruji
or to okitakun really
so i want to face that myself

I think knowing that about yourself is a sign of the strength you already have.
It's easy to want to become better at fighting or defending, but knowing we have to work on our hearts is a little harder.

yeah

[He's quiet for a little while.]

do you want to get stronger too

[a long delay.]

Sometimes I feel like I'm content the way things are.
But sometimes I feel like I haven't finished becoming the person I'm supposed to be.
So maybe I'm supposed to change.

[He thinks about that, for a little while.]

is that something that finishes?

Probably not finishes, exactly.
It's more that I know I'm where I need to be right now, but

There's a feeling of something that's still missing before I can rest for good.

well
maybe when we find the way home
youll find what you need too

I know you want to find the way home.
I worry finding the way home isn't going to get you there.
It's only going to get people hurt.

I don't want to shut you guys down, or make you think I want to trap you here.
I'm just worried.

why do you think it would hurt people?

It just doesn't seem like the right place to be focusing your energy. This place can change based on what you want, can't it?

i dont think its a bad place
but
not really, no
because our duty is tied to our home
its not really something we can carry out here

What I mean is, all of you are in a place that responds to your energy, and you're focusing your efforts on rejecting it.

[Oh. He sees what they're saying.]

i guess so
but we wouldnt have to do that if we could come and go easily

Maybe, but I don't know that's something it's even capable of.

well
I think we have to try
if it hurts us then we'll regroup and figure something else out
but if we cant contact aruji then we have to assume he cant contact us either
and even if he could get us out we wouldnt want to leave everyone else here anyway

I won't tell you to stop but I'm going to ask a favor.
If things keep destabilizing like this...
Can you try giving acceptance a chance?
Not everyone completes their mission.

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aitou - 2022-02-28 19:07 (UTC) - Expand

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saturations - 2022-02-28 21:23 (UTC) - Expand