[ he knows!!! HE KNOWS BC HE'S THE SAME!!!! MARINES!!!!
he just kind of stays there for a second, looking at the text - and then exhales, loudly, and scrubs a hand over his face. ]
...yeah.
[ ...
after a pause, he moves to sit on the other side of the couch, against the back of it, sliding down and facing the other direction, looking at the wall across. ]
...Y'know, I had a kid ask to be under my wing once, and I fucked it up, really, really bad. Instead of just telling him no, I - did something else. Thought I was teaching him a lesson and I ended up just making things a lot worse. We left Emon right afterwards, and I tried to track him down - but he was already gone. Said he was going to get stronger to his folks, apparently, and lost track of him.
...I kept trying to find him, and couldn't, and then - when I finally did, he'd found himself in deep shit, deeper than he really - I think than he really even knew.
I kept thinking - like, "Maybe if I hadn't been such a huge dick, he wouldn't have had it that rough." And - that's true, I know it is. He went through all that shit because I tore him down thinking it was some kind of bullshit lesson.
[ one of the greatest regrets of vax's life, even now, is allowing kynan to get into the situation he was into with ripley. the haunted, miserable look in his eyes when he finally, finally agreed to come with them - the guilt, the trauma written all over his face - still lives in his regrets even now. it's been ages, but he watched the way that changed him.
the entire time he's told this story it's been low, quiet, and it finishes that way, too. ]
... And I know he didn't leave because he was angry with me, either. Felt like I could never apologize enough to him, even if he said it was okay.
[ ... ]
... So, yeah. We won't. Good intentions don't really mean shit when you act like that about them. ...I know.
no subject
he just kind of stays there for a second, looking at the text - and then exhales, loudly, and scrubs a hand over his face. ]
...yeah.
[ ...
after a pause, he moves to sit on the other side of the couch, against the back of it, sliding down and facing the other direction, looking at the wall across. ]
...Y'know, I had a kid ask to be under my wing once, and I fucked it up, really, really bad. Instead of just telling him no, I - did something else. Thought I was teaching him a lesson and I ended up just making things a lot worse. We left Emon right afterwards, and I tried to track him down - but he was already gone. Said he was going to get stronger to his folks, apparently, and lost track of him.
...I kept trying to find him, and couldn't, and then - when I finally did, he'd found himself in deep shit, deeper than he really - I think than he really even knew.
I kept thinking - like, "Maybe if I hadn't been such a huge dick, he wouldn't have had it that rough." And - that's true, I know it is. He went through all that shit because I tore him down thinking it was some kind of bullshit lesson.
[ one of the greatest regrets of vax's life, even now, is allowing kynan to get into the situation he was into with ripley. the haunted, miserable look in his eyes when he finally, finally agreed to come with them - the guilt, the trauma written all over his face - still lives in his regrets even now. it's been ages, but he watched the way that changed him.
the entire time he's told this story it's been low, quiet, and it finishes that way, too. ]
... And I know he didn't leave because he was angry with me, either. Felt like I could never apologize enough to him, even if he said it was okay.
[ ... ]
... So, yeah. We won't. Good intentions don't really mean shit when you act like that about them. ...I know.