[maybe it would have been better, actually, if riff said anything to anyone prior to this, though he thinks about the arguments he's had with someone. about needing to remember. about needing to go home. but it doesn't matter. what the fuck is the point of going home when the people you want to be with aren't going to be there with you? maybe vax is right and bass remembers something else. but...how would he even know? how would they even know the timeline of events when they're both still missing so many memories?
but remembering memories...hurts. it hurts, a continual knife in the door, wiggling it loose until all of the terrible things come spilling in.
'I thought maybe it was just a dream and then you guys came back and now it's way more obvious it's stuff that actually happened. So why do the memories keep getting worse?'
'Because it sounds like you've had a lot of bad shit happen to you.'
'Maybe.'
'I don't think it's just a 'maybe' kiddo'
it's. like. it's not fair? this isn't even about being fair, but it sort of is in a way. everything was fine before the refraction started and memories started coming back and sticking all four of them in an in-between situation. everything was fine before people started killing, started dying, started hurting in ways that can't be fixed so immediately. everything was fine when he forgot things.
so why can't he just go back to forgetting?
vax says to slow down and breathe and unfortunately that's not exactly an option given the way his breathing sort of hitches into a quiet hiccup before he moves to try and dig both of his hands into his eyes to stop whatever tears are trying to escape.]
I can't... [it's not clear what he can't do, but give him a second to try and regroup. sorry vax. this may not be the first time someone has told him to talk to the others about their memories, but this is...a pretty raw subject, at the moment.]
no subject
but remembering memories...hurts. it hurts, a continual knife in the door, wiggling it loose until all of the terrible things come spilling in.
'I thought maybe it was just a dream and then you guys came back and now it's way more obvious it's stuff that actually happened. So why do the memories keep getting worse?'
'Because it sounds like you've had a lot of bad shit happen to you.'
'Maybe.'
'I don't think it's just a 'maybe' kiddo'
it's. like. it's not fair? this isn't even about being fair, but it sort of is in a way. everything was fine before the refraction started and memories started coming back and sticking all four of them in an in-between situation. everything was fine before people started killing, started dying, started hurting in ways that can't be fixed so immediately. everything was fine when he forgot things.
so why can't he just go back to forgetting?
vax says to slow down and breathe and unfortunately that's not exactly an option given the way his breathing sort of hitches into a quiet hiccup before he moves to try and dig both of his hands into his eyes to stop whatever tears are trying to escape.]
I can't... [it's not clear what he can't do, but give him a second to try and regroup. sorry vax. this may not be the first time someone has told him to talk to the others about their memories, but this is...a pretty raw subject, at the moment.]