[ thanks riff, even if he did almost commit vehicular manslaughter and also tried to kill kazuma a little. genuinely, he's a little surprised when people still believe he's disinclined towards violence—it's comforting, in its own way.
he shrugs weakly. ]
...No, not quite. [ and that does make him happy, because of course he's relieved, even if things between them are only more complicated these days. ] It is nice though, to be back together. He's been alone a long while, and— ...that's not really any way to live, for anyone.
...I don't think it is either, no. Even if people want to be alone, maybe they don't actually want to be. You know? It's hard to know sometimes, but they still shouldn't be.
[ ...based on what he's heard, he's worried about riff, that maybe his attachment to the prism spoke to a lonesome past. he still doesn't know well enough to conclude either way. but if riff's mindset is like this, hopefully he'll be okay. ]
...I agree. I wouldn't know what to do if I were alone, through everything. [ ... ] Well, no, I'd be dead or in prison, probably. But I know for some people... it's not as easy to accept company.
[ or help. ]
And yes, he's been my best friend for some time now. We've had our fair share of issues, but he's still my partner.
Sometimes you don't want to accept company because you don't want that company getting caught up in other stuff. I get it.
...even though things happened the way they did? I'm glad you guys came here together.
[...which is why they sigh a little, popping the bubble gently with a ripple of blue.
you're alone.
the city around you has been engulfed in flames, smoke and destruction. the last of your friends has faded right from your finger tips, her hand reaching out for yours. you can't hold onto her. you can't save her.
you weren't able to save any of them. all of them...gone.
you thought you could do it this time. you thought you could stop the erasure of the place you loved, the people you loved, if only you turned back the clock one more time.
but it didn't work.
behind you, you hear footsteps approaching. a man approaches you, laughing to himself.
"Well, well. And then there was one."
you turn quickly to face him, but there isn't enough time to get away. he looks at you, holding up his fingers with a quick snap, and you feel the source of your power shatter in your pocket.
"Shit..." you say quietly, hand shaking as you hold the pieces of your hope in your palm.
"Oh, you won't be needin' that anymore," the man cackles again, leering down at you. it's just the two of you now, the city ravaged, your friends destroyed.
"The Game's over, kid. And now, so's S̷̡̞̹̬̥͉̪̳͍̜̰̲̜͗̆̕͜͝h̷̨̙̲͊ỉ̸̢̡͖̮͕̣͕͌͑́̚b̶̨͔̺͕̱͎͇͔͈̎̓̏̕ų̶̨̻͚͓̜̫̰͖̲͇̊̃͑̆̅̍͗̏̆̕͠y̵̧͓̩̱̰͕̍̔ą̶̬̘̞̗̫͆͛!"
he holds his arms high to the sky, a tyrant praising his own evildoings. thousands of creatures swirl around you, and you know this is your fault. this was your own doing, something you had a hand in creating.
it's the end. there's nothing you can do.
a beam of white light suddenly appears in the sky, rocketing down to strike the man. the blast sends you flying, tumbling backwards into the rubble as you watch the light tear him apart and purify him. as your vision clears...
...you find yourself perfectly unharmed.
"...what was that?" you ask yourself, and with a start you notice so many people around you. you're standing in the center of several white crosswalks, people going about their business and hardly paying attention to you as you frantically look around. you can't figure out what happened. you stand there, trying to remember, but you're jostled from your thoughts as a man bumps into you. it's a feeling you haven't felt in so long that it startles you. you quickly reach into your pocket for your phone, checking for your messages.
your mother's worried about you. she wants to know what time you're coming home.
"No way..." you whisper to yourself. it becomes clear to you then. you've finally made it home. you're back where you belong, but... "W-wait...hold on a sec..." you look around again, and soon the uneasy, anxious feeling grips your chest. oh no. oh no, oh no, oh no.
time passes. it's another day, and you're still trying to understand everything that's happened to you. your thoughts are so much louder than the city around you. it's nearly impossible to escape.
'...I'm the only one who made it home. My chat app's back to the way it was before the Game started. Except for the fact that F̴͍̭̦͕͒̾̌́r̸̟̟̽̈́̊͝ȅ̴̠̣̉̚͜͝t̷̮͗́̏ isn't in it. Nobody from school remembers him, and he's missing from my contacts. Same with N̵̺̻̿̔͝ͅa̸̞̜̘̳͋͒͒ģ̴̪̃̋̾ȉ̵̧̺̼͔̑͑ and B̸͉͆͊̑e̸̹͎̟̘̅͐̾̂͑a̷̬͕̖̅̏̌̎̿t̴͔̜͈͉̦̔̂, and N̶̥̓e̴͈͔͌̉́̋̚k̵̛̭͙̿̇̔ư̴͍̣̫̬̦̎̍--everyone. S̷̹̲̣̀̽̓h̵̼͈̦͐͊͊̒͘ǒ̵̼̩̲̟̓k̴̼̥̀ȃ̵̺̳̔̎͝͠, too. Even her alt's gone--like it never existed.'
you feel it more strongly than ever. that guilt. that grief. those nasty little feelings you never wanted to feel, that you thought you could escape if you could fix everything.
'There's thousands of people around me, and yet I'm all alone. I thought that, if i went back in time, I could save the city. And technically I did. Just not the way I wanted to...'
you feel your throat begin to close the longer your thoughts haunt you. your vision begins to blur, and you know you shouldn't cry in public but...who cares anymore? does it even matter? no one else will notice.
you sink to the ground, sitting in the middle with your back against a stone pedestal for a statue of a figure that waits. thousands of people go about their daily lives, unaware of the danger they had once been in, and paying no attention to you at all. the first of your tears drip onto your hands without permission.
'Was everything I did all for nothing?'
life goes on. life in this bustling, colorful city proceeds without a care in the world. but you're the only one left to notice it.
all that's left is a memory, even if the names can't be recalled.]
...especially after a memory like that. he's still stuck in place even after the bubble pops and frees them, disoriented; the sense of loneliness and grief stays stuck in his throat, eyes watering. even if he doesn't know these people, even if riff's memory doesn't seem able to put their names together, it's still too tragic not to be affected.
but more importantly, he looks over at riff to make sure he's okay. what a terrible experience to have to see again... ]
[riff, meanwhile, is just kind of doing the equivalent of a ten-thousand yard stare. it's hard to say what they're thinking or what they're feeling, but judging by their posture it isn't really anything pleasant.]
...that one keeps coming up. I'm almost not surprised by it anymore.
[ yeah, that more or less explains why riff is okay with the prism. maybe even the most resistant to the idea of leaving it. he shifts in place a little. ]
...It's true that we can't do much about the past, but...
[ he ponders for a moment, before tentatively reaching out, palms up. ]
Riff, um—could I... hold your hand? ...I did the same with Bass and Steel, and I thought it was helpful.
[ coming into contact with their colors made it easier to read their emotions directly, and he'd like to understand where riff is coming from, too. ]
It did. [ it was pretty enlightening, actually, though he's never entirely sure what to expect. people are all so different. ] Though I think you might have to use a little color...
[ he'll carefully take riff's hand between his, then. ]
[this may actually be a very terrible idea considering riff is very firmly planted in marine, but they will let ryunosuke take their hand.
they're also, like, not sure how to convey much of anything, so even with the little bit of blue applied it's hard to say if that's actually doing anything or riff's own complete bafflement and sorrow about the whole thing is just that palpable.]
[ it is a terrible idea! it doesn't really illuminate anything new, if it works at all, but even so—the grief that marine so solidly represents springs tears to his eyes again. he takes one of his hands back to wipe a sleeve across his face. ]
Hm... [ he's not equipped to help on a deep level here. the best he can do is speak sincerely. ] I know the world can be a dark place, but I think... there's always options. Sometimes it takes some help to see them, though.
[ ... ] Whatever happened to you before, you're still emerged as a good person. And I just don't believe the only choice in your life is sadness.
[they seem to consider this for a moment because...sure, fine, that makes sense.]
I have some good things here like Bass, Shale and Steel. Plus there's you guys. I haven't regretted meeting you or anything. Even with all of the bad stuff that's happened here, there's been some good, right? Like you got to be with Kazuma still.
[ but he makes a sort of complicated expression. ]
I'm grateful to spend time with my best friend again. But... [ we don't have time to unpack that right now. ] ...In any case, I'm glad to have met you too, Riff.
[ he like, reaches out and... makes him some candy. it's konpeito because he's ancient. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...maybe being dead together isn't the worst if he's dead back where you're from. Except...it kinda sounds like that isn't actually true either?
[they shake their head kind of like "no it's okay" because they've grown used to people's bubbles by now.]
no subject
he shrugs weakly. ]
...No, not quite. [ and that does make him happy, because of course he's relieved, even if things between them are only more complicated these days. ] It is nice though, to be back together. He's been alone a long while, and— ...that's not really any way to live, for anyone.
no subject
...I don't think it is either, no. Even if people want to be alone, maybe they don't actually want to be. You know? It's hard to know sometimes, but they still shouldn't be.
You've...been friends for a while, right?
no subject
...I agree. I wouldn't know what to do if I were alone, through everything. [ ... ] Well, no, I'd be dead or in prison, probably. But I know for some people... it's not as easy to accept company.
[ or help. ]
And yes, he's been my best friend for some time now. We've had our fair share of issues, but he's still my partner.
no subject
...even though things happened the way they did? I'm glad you guys came here together.
[...which is why they sigh a little, popping the bubble gently with a ripple of blue.
all that's left is a memory, even if the names can't be recalled.]
no subject
...especially after a memory like that. he's still stuck in place even after the bubble pops and frees them, disoriented; the sense of loneliness and grief stays stuck in his throat, eyes watering. even if he doesn't know these people, even if riff's memory doesn't seem able to put their names together, it's still too tragic not to be affected.
but more importantly, he looks over at riff to make sure he's okay. what a terrible experience to have to see again... ]
...Riff?
no subject
...that one keeps coming up. I'm almost not surprised by it anymore.
[almost.]
no subject
...I don't think I could get used to something like that no matter how many times I saw it happen. Are you... okay?
[ he can't see how anyone would be, already looking concerned. ]
no subject
...yeah. It's just a memory, so...what can I do, right? It's not like I can change things anymore.
[it truly just adds context to why they don't want to leave.]
no subject
...It's true that we can't do much about the past, but...
[ he ponders for a moment, before tentatively reaching out, palms up. ]
Riff, um—could I... hold your hand? ...I did the same with Bass and Steel, and I thought it was helpful.
[ coming into contact with their colors made it easier to read their emotions directly, and he'd like to understand where riff is coming from, too. ]
no subject
...did it work?
[they're not entirely sure what to expect, but okay. it's ryu, so he can have a single hand kind of hesitantly hovering.]
no subject
[ he'll carefully take riff's hand between his, then. ]
no subject
they're also, like, not sure how to convey much of anything, so even with the little bit of blue applied it's hard to say if that's actually doing anything or riff's own complete bafflement and sorrow about the whole thing is just that palpable.]
...if you're sure.
no subject
...Is this how you always feel?
no subject
riff like immediately rips their hands away because wow, did not mean to make him cry.]
...I guess? Maybe it's just a little stronger now. Sometimes it doesn't really feel like anything though.
[sometimes....you are just a depressed teenager regardless.]
no subject
I don't think this is good if it's normal for you. Neither is malaise.
[ like, stating the obvious. but it should be said. ]
But... I understand, it must be hard moving on from that.
no subject
It is what it is, Ryunosuke. It's fine. I don't mind when there's so much else happening all the time.
[so. yeah. it's been kind of hard to shake that off, along with all the other murders here.]
no subject
he blinks at him. ]
It's not fine, though.
[ it really isn't? ]
no subject
...I mean. I don't know if there's really another option?
[it's either be fine, or drown.]
no subject
Hm... [ he's not equipped to help on a deep level here. the best he can do is speak sincerely. ] I know the world can be a dark place, but I think... there's always options. Sometimes it takes some help to see them, though.
[ ... ] Whatever happened to you before, you're still emerged as a good person. And I just don't believe the only choice in your life is sadness.
no subject
I have some good things here like Bass, Shale and Steel. Plus there's you guys. I haven't regretted meeting you or anything. Even with all of the bad stuff that's happened here, there's been some good, right? Like you got to be with Kazuma still.
no subject
[ but he makes a sort of complicated expression. ]
I'm grateful to spend time with my best friend again. But... [ we don't have time to unpack that right now. ] ...In any case, I'm glad to have met you too, Riff.
[ he like, reaches out and... makes him some candy. it's konpeito because he's ancient. ]
...Don't let your spirits get too low, okay?
no subject
...likewise. [on all accounts.] Thanks. ...you should probably head back just in case, but...we'll probably talk soon?
[me, realizing this is a w3 thread.]