I'm not a doctor like you are, but I've seen my share of death.
I don't really agree with you. Sometimes it happens, random, tragic, violent. And people are in shock, because most people don't go through like accepting that death and senseless tragedy can come for them at any time, and they look for reasons. They try to assign blame.
It's natural to do that. But I think you'd be making a mistake.
[it takes some time before jiuqing responds. their perspective is vastly different from her own - but then, perhaps that isn't so surprising; she became a doctor specifically because she knew the reasons for her mother's death in her first life, and she wanted to prevent it. she's spent so much of her second life identifying the reasons why things went wrong the first time around and correcting them.
identifying reasons is how she's survived, because she can't make the chances she needs without knowing. she can't help but keep searching for reasons. if she knows them, she can prepare. if she's prepared, then maybe she can keep surviving.
but shale's perspective isn't wrong, either. this isn't daxing, where she was familiar with the people around her, where she knew what sorts of political moves to expect and could identify which of her choices caused them to diverge from what they already knew. this is the prism, where things just work differently. a different place requires different perspectives and different approaches.
hearing it helps. having it in text helps, because she'll be able to look back on this when she needs a reminder. maybe she can't fully accept it just yet, but she wants to give their perspective the consideration it's due.
this is a lot of meta for a text thread but this is also kind of a deep thread and it got me thinking. so. here we are. i'm sorry.]
you may be right about that
it's just difficult, i think
when i've lost patients before, or when i couldn't cure them entirely but could only help them manage their symptoms, there's been a reason why. i could look at the progression of an illness and know that's what it was that killed them, or would kill them. but i could also know that if i could find a way to treat the root cause of it, they could be saved.
but i don't know how to treat the root cause of... this. i don't know if there's even a way to identify it at all. there might not be. and that's frustrating.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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but this wasn't
it wasn't like that. this wasn't an illness, or the natural consequence of an injury that was left untreated for too long.
it wasn't even that someone looked at him and decided that they wanted him dead.
it sounded like... it looked like... something made that happen to the two of them
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I don't really agree with you. Sometimes it happens, random, tragic, violent. And people are in shock, because most people don't go through like accepting that death and senseless tragedy can come for them at any time, and they look for reasons. They try to assign blame.
It's natural to do that. But I think you'd be making a mistake.
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identifying reasons is how she's survived, because she can't make the chances she needs without knowing. she can't help but keep searching for reasons. if she knows them, she can prepare. if she's prepared, then maybe she can keep surviving.
but shale's perspective isn't wrong, either. this isn't daxing, where she was familiar with the people around her, where she knew what sorts of political moves to expect and could identify which of her choices caused them to diverge from what they already knew. this is the prism, where things just work differently. a different place requires different perspectives and different approaches.
hearing it helps. having it in text helps, because she'll be able to look back on this when she needs a reminder. maybe she can't fully accept it just yet, but she wants to give their perspective the consideration it's due.
this is a lot of meta for a text thread but this is also kind of a deep thread and it got me thinking. so. here we are. i'm sorry.]
you may be right about that
it's just difficult, i think
when i've lost patients before, or when i couldn't cure them entirely but could only help them manage their symptoms, there's been a reason why. i could look at the progression of an illness and know that's what it was that killed them, or would kill them. but i could also know that if i could find a way to treat the root cause of it, they could be saved.
but i don't know how to treat the root cause of... this. i don't know if there's even a way to identify it at all. there might not be. and that's frustrating.
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there's a long delay before they respond, presumably reading all of this and deciding what they want to say. but when the response comes, it's short.]
That is frustrating.
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i'm sorry.
i'm not a very good conversational partner tonight.
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I'm not very good at doing this over text.
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or maybe tomorrow. it's getting pretty late.
[me staring at the clock like how to resolve this so i can ask for a sunday thread so we can talk about whatever happens with the execution]
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rest well tonight, shale