oh. well. vax's eyes widen just a little, because once again, the idea of forgetting his sibling is an absolute fucking nightmare and the word "sister" immediately gets to him. ]
We were more than close. Everything we did, was bound together.
[ me clenching my fists, waiting to drop this lore on you. it's fine.
The reaction he has makes them sit up even further, spine straighter as if that will make the flare of it all lessen. ]
Everyone acts as if it would be possible to forget. That everything she did has not left itself impressed upon me. It is only that the image of her face has faded, and thus, my own as well. I was ... always her shadow.
before he even really notices it, he reaches up, his fingers gently touching the feather by his ear, and that realization hits even harder, because he knows this maybe more than anyone else in the world, maybe more than anyone else in the prism. ]
[ they seem to mirror the gesture, a hand raising to the lacquered flowers and golden fan, before their hand drops again to their lap. There's a small dip of their head in a nod, but they lack further words for the moment. ]
[ It does seem painful for them, though somehow it's perhaps even a little more difficult with the idea that this person understands the shape of it. They have never considered themselves to be very good at understanding mortal hearts, except perhaps on this.
The whole of their skin - or the shadow that covers them - seems to ripple with that pink energy, eyes opening and closing along it. A reaction, though what exactly it is could be hard to read. Summoning the strength to speak of it, maybe. ]
She never ... she never raised a blade against anyone. In anger or otherwise. She hardly needed to. She could speak a storm into a gentle breeze, and calm an army into handing over their weapons. But when she could not, I was there.
[ vax watches them, dropping his hands into his lap, sort of humbled and silenced at the mere idea, and listening as empathetically as maybe only he can manage. he watches the colors, but waits, patient.
... and then huffs, a soft sort of laugh. calm and gentle, well spoken and kind, though - really, it's the second part of that that seems to resonate. his brows knit together as he speaks, the emotion in his voice clear. ] 's what we're always good at, right? Making up the places the other one can't. Doing the things they shouldn't have to.
[ breaking into buildings, stealing food, joining the clasp.
always, for vex. ] Who's older, do you know? She sounds like a good person.
[ it's true though - it is a list of all the things steel is not. they are a distant, focused observer of the world, not so much a participant. abrasive, when they don't intend to be, stubborn to a fault. but maybe vax understands some of that too. ]
I don't know. I believe her answer and mine would likely differ. [ ... ] Your sister?
he huffs a laugh, though, ducking his head. yeah, that checks out. twins. can't be twins if you don't bicker about something. ] I'm the older one. [ amusement tugs at the corner of his mouth. ] She'd say that doesn't matter.
[ in the fondness, there's a pause, though, as he considers. how does he describe vex? ]
Her name's Vex'ahlia. Vex. She's... she's brilliant. A hunter. She could hit a target blindfolded and backwards with a bow and arrow. She's a little shit, sometimes, likes to bust my balls for no reason, steals my things, and makes me sleep on the ass end of her fucking bear whenever we camp.
[ a beat. and then, plaintively, honestly: ]
...I miss her so fucking much, Steel.
[ and that's more than just here. it's at home, too, knowing they're separated for good, now. at least - until vex dies, of old age, in a happy life, he won't be able to be near her again. ]
Edited (forgot the name whoops ) 2022-03-09 03:49 (UTC)
[ Isn't it always the younger twin who says that it doesn't matter and it's a silly argument? There is a bit of a smile, briefly (A smile? They didn't have a face before). ]
It does sound correct, that she was the better twin of the two of you.
[ But it's very gentle. Just an acknowledgment of how much he clearly seems to love her, the memory of her. ]
I know.
[ quietly, with the certainty of understanding. ]
That feeling ... That feeling does not ever fade. Even if you eventually forget the image of her, that will still remain.
[ It is endless dark hallways, and shadow. it is empty rooms, and nothingness.
but maybe they are just both terrible at dealing with grief. ]
[ he smiles a little when steel says that - because, yeah. she is. vex is the better of the two of them. she's a better person, the actual love of vax'ildan's life, from the minute they were born until the minute he had to leave her behind.
he reaches up to rub his wrist over the back of his eyes, briefly. ]
's a piece of yourself. [ his whole heart. ] ... You ever want to talk about her, I'm happy to listen. Anytime you want.
[ he could sit here for hours and tell stories about vex, no matter how painful it still feels. acceptance, love, loss: all relating to his twin sister, all relating to how he can only watch over her when they return home, relating to how lonely she must be right now.
and to know steel has forgotten the face of herself, of her sister, makes him ache. there has to be something to be done about it, but right now, it's just that - that memory. holding onto all the pieces, talking about her, about vex, desperately clinging to the reminder that you are only one half of a whole person when the other sibling is gone. ]
[ maybe there's something to be done, but Steel is still crystalline. opening the door this far was a force of will that seems an impossible human feat, and that talking about it this much has made it so the door cannot be shut again. maybe it needs some time, in the light. to readjust. ]
I'd ... like the same. If you wanted to speak of her, I'd like to hear it.
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no subject
oh. well. vax's eyes widen just a little, because once again, the idea of forgetting his sibling is an absolute fucking nightmare and the word "sister" immediately gets to him. ]
...yeah? [ ... ] ...were you close? You remember?
no subject
[ me clenching my fists, waiting to drop this lore on you. it's fine.
The reaction he has makes them sit up even further, spine straighter as if that will make the flare of it all lessen. ]
Everyone acts as if it would be possible to forget. That everything she did has not left itself impressed upon me. It is only that the image of her face has faded, and thus, my own as well. I was ... always her shadow.
MY NOTIFS
before he even really notices it, he reaches up, his fingers gently touching the feather by his ear, and that realization hits even harder, because he knows this maybe more than anyone else in the world, maybe more than anyone else in the prism. ]
... You two looked alike. [ oh. oh. ]
...twins.
no subject
no subject
for a moment, he's speechless, too, and then swallows.
softly, by way of explanation; ] ...me too. Sister.
[ and then, almost hesitantly, because this is such - this is so painful, so vulnerable, so close. ] Tell me about her?
no subject
The whole of their skin - or the shadow that covers them - seems to ripple with that pink energy, eyes opening and closing along it. A reaction, though what exactly it is could be hard to read. Summoning the strength to speak of it, maybe. ]
She never ... she never raised a blade against anyone. In anger or otherwise. She hardly needed to. She could speak a storm into a gentle breeze, and calm an army into handing over their weapons. But when she could not, I was there.
no subject
... and then huffs, a soft sort of laugh. calm and gentle, well spoken and kind, though - really, it's the second part of that that seems to resonate. his brows knit together as he speaks, the emotion in his voice clear. ] 's what we're always good at, right? Making up the places the other one can't. Doing the things they shouldn't have to.
[ breaking into buildings, stealing food, joining the clasp.
always, for vex. ] Who's older, do you know? She sounds like a good person.
no subject
[ it's true though - it is a list of all the things steel is not. they are a distant, focused observer of the world, not so much a participant. abrasive, when they don't intend to be, stubborn to a fault. but maybe vax understands some of that too. ]
I don't know. I believe her answer and mine would likely differ. [ ... ] Your sister?
no subject
he huffs a laugh, though, ducking his head. yeah, that checks out. twins. can't be twins if you don't bicker about something. ] I'm the older one. [ amusement tugs at the corner of his mouth. ] She'd say that doesn't matter.
[ in the fondness, there's a pause, though, as he considers. how does he describe vex? ]
Her name's Vex'ahlia. Vex. She's... she's brilliant. A hunter. She could hit a target blindfolded and backwards with a bow and arrow. She's a little shit, sometimes, likes to bust my balls for no reason, steals my things, and makes me sleep on the ass end of her fucking bear whenever we camp.
[ a beat. and then, plaintively, honestly: ]
...I miss her so fucking much, Steel.
[ and that's more than just here. it's at home, too, knowing they're separated for good, now. at least - until vex dies, of old age, in a happy life, he won't be able to be near her again. ]
no subject
It does sound correct, that she was the better twin of the two of you.
[ But it's very gentle. Just an acknowledgment of how much he clearly seems to love her, the memory of her. ]
I know.
[ quietly, with the certainty of understanding. ]
That feeling ... That feeling does not ever fade. Even if you eventually forget the image of her, that will still remain.
[ It is endless dark hallways, and shadow. it is empty rooms, and nothingness.
but maybe they are just both terrible at dealing with grief. ]
no subject
he reaches up to rub his wrist over the back of his eyes, briefly. ]
's a piece of yourself. [ his whole heart. ] ... You ever want to talk about her, I'm happy to listen. Anytime you want.
[ he could sit here for hours and tell stories about vex, no matter how painful it still feels. acceptance, love, loss: all relating to his twin sister, all relating to how he can only watch over her when they return home, relating to how lonely she must be right now.
and to know steel has forgotten the face of herself, of her sister, makes him ache. there has to be something to be done about it, but right now, it's just that - that memory. holding onto all the pieces, talking about her, about vex, desperately clinging to the reminder that you are only one half of a whole person when the other sibling is gone. ]
no subject
I'd ... like the same. If you wanted to speak of her, I'd like to hear it.