...I think he was just fighting it off. It wasn't as bad as it was the night of.
...He might've just been shaken. I can't - it's hard to tell, what's.... what could be the prism, and what's Percy's - what's Percy's.
[ aka he's always had these traumas. vax is doing his best to stitch him up, now, to hold his pieces together, but he's not vex. ] It hasn't shown since. Barely left his side, just in case.
[hmm. that doesn't seem to alleviate shale's worry, but it doesn't increase, either.]
Keep a close eye on him. Just in case. If something seems off, let me know. [...another spike of worry.] It probably seemed like we were pretty quick, with Malik, to turn on him. That thing he became was... [just a mixture of fear and sadness.]
[ the feelings are mutual here, too - worry and sadness, mostly. the fear he has is mostly for percy, the idea of losing him tight in his chest like a vicegrip. especially, especially after seeing vex on sunday.
he takes a deep breath, not really clarifying on what he's answering to at first, and rubs a hand over his face. ]
..It exploded, though. So. [ he gets it, the quick response. ] That's - do you think it's going to happen that badly again? Thought maybe he might've been the one to take out Chichi, and it was barely a day.
[ he exhales too, and the blatant, clear emotion is just relief. ]
...good. Good, good. [ at least there's that. it doesn't make what happened to malik any less fucked up, but vax was worried it had to do with balance - that someone just had to die. ]
...Least there's that.
[ okay. okay. that helps a lot. ] Doesn't - poor kid, though. Do you think.. Iunno. I hope he was able to go out in peace, at least.
[yeah. they're sad about it, but in an accepting sort of way.]
...I didn't look that peaceful from where I was standing. [but they shrug.] Not your fault. I told you, I know what happened there, with Percy. It was the small kind of fate, the kind we talked about. A good thing, but not something to read a lot into.
[ yeah. sad but accepting, that's the feel, as he makes a little bit of a face. the paladin of the raven queen life - where you can mourn the dead, but never pity them. ]
...It was good to be there, in the temple. I wasn't really doing it on purpose, just - was the first thing that came to mind. [ absently, his hand comes up again, pressing over his chest, on those raven wing marks. if anyone would get this part of that whole experience, it would be shale. ] ...Good to see Her.
[ her, in this case, being the raven queen.
for someone who spent a really, really long time struggling with accepting his fate and his position, his fear of the raven queen has long since developed into something else - it's almost comforting. after all of that questioning last week, he just feels more... balanced. ]
One of the rooms - the new ones. Lets you see stuff and places from home. I went to Raven's Crest this morning.
...I've been to the one in Vasselheim - the Birthheart. Someome had us bury their ashes there, and Kiki - well. I've been. I could probably remember the details well enough to recreate it.
[ he smiles, a little, from the feeling of anxiety and being touched, alike. it's familiar - reminds him of standing in the mausoleum at whitestone, converted into a shrine.
vax nods, though. ]
Let's.
[ and if shale will let him, he'll lead the way out there! off to the simulations room they go.
it is of course very bland and boring, at first - just a plain white room with white walls. vax makes his way over to the little panel and settles down with his hand on it, closing his eyes. ]
[they peel off their calm eyebrows and place them back in the little pouch. there are a few different eyebrow choices ready, depending on what vibes this place is!]
[ with that confirmation, he reaches to start the little simulation.
the world around them blooms with color - trees sprout up, up, up above their heads, leading to a grid-shaped series of walkways. distantly, shale will be able to see farmland, rich with bountiful harvests that never seem to end: golden wheat fields and bright green plant life alike bloom endlessly, despite the snowflakes falling from the air. there's a brisk breeze in vasselheim, from vax's last memory in this place, and they can see people milling about on the walkways through the forests, sometimes couples holding hands, in all manners of life from humans to elves to dragonborns to firbolgs to even a goliath. occasionally, one walks by wearing green and white robes.
there are two, much larger trees the closest to them - the birth heart. they bend together and create an archway of branches and trees that knit into each other and wrap around, and just beyond that, there's an even larger tree, with the faint glow of golden light filtering through the branches of the knotted, intertwined archway that signifies the beginning of the birth heart.
the air here feels fresh, clean. it's not vax's temple, but it's familiar, and so he rolls his shoulders back as they enter, and glances over to see shale's reaction. they'll have to walk a bit, but, this is: ] ... The Abundant Terrace.
Birth Heart's that way. [ gesturing to the big tree arch. ]
[oh. well, their emotions sort of pick up with fascination and curiosity but also a sort of longing and inspiration as they take this all in. it's warm, and everything both feels familiar and doesn't, because they have never been to this specific place before but they know the feeling of it all too well. those vines in their chest push, reaching out, grasping.
but it's when they see the tree, the golden light filtering through the branches, that's when they stop.]
I've been here before.
[no, that outburst is replaced by confusion. no, they haven't, not here, but something is...]
this feels... well. it feels a little like maybe what he's supposed to do. like what his time with the raven queen will be like, when all is said and done - like a guide, to fate, or to the great unknown.
he watches those vines for a moment, and looks at shale, and then - even if they're a statue - offers out his hand? wordlessly, silently, his emotions reflecting a little of the purpose of this moment. if shale wants to walk on, then they can walk on, standing here at the edge of a moment, but they won't have to do it alone. ]
[they'll take the hand, yes. and they'll walk forward, seeking that feeling of familiarity. it's the tree they approach and something about it seems to be stirring something.]
How do I...
[a glance towards the panel. they haven't tried this.]
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[a little flare of worry, but still calm.]
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...I think he was just fighting it off. It wasn't as bad as it was the night of.
...He might've just been shaken. I can't - it's hard to tell, what's.... what could be the prism, and what's Percy's - what's Percy's.
[ aka he's always had these traumas. vax is doing his best to stitch him up, now, to hold his pieces together, but he's not vex. ] It hasn't shown since. Barely left his side, just in case.
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Keep a close eye on him. Just in case. If something seems off, let me know. [...another spike of worry.] It probably seemed like we were pretty quick, with Malik, to turn on him. That thing he became was... [just a mixture of fear and sadness.]
But I hope you know you can trust us.
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[ the feelings are mutual here, too - worry and sadness, mostly. the fear he has is mostly for percy, the idea of losing him tight in his chest like a vicegrip. especially, especially after seeing vex on sunday.
he takes a deep breath, not really clarifying on what he's answering to at first, and rubs a hand over his face. ]
..It exploded, though. So. [ he gets it, the quick response. ] That's - do you think it's going to happen that badly again? Thought maybe he might've been the one to take out Chichi, and it was barely a day.
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[...]
Think about it like a sickness, maybe. Some people get it worse than others, and you can't always predict how it'll go.
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...hesitant: ] ...It... Percy surviving didn't...
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[gently, prompting him to continue.]
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[ a little swoop of guilt, there, and genuine concern. ]
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No. There's a lot I don't know, but I know what happened to Percy didn't have anything to do with that.
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...good. Good, good. [ at least there's that. it doesn't make what happened to malik any less fucked up, but vax was worried it had to do with balance - that someone just had to die. ]
...Least there's that.
[ okay. okay. that helps a lot. ] Doesn't - poor kid, though. Do you think.. Iunno. I hope he was able to go out in peace, at least.
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...I didn't look that peaceful from where I was standing. [but they shrug.] Not your fault. I told you, I know what happened there, with Percy. It was the small kind of fate, the kind we talked about. A good thing, but not something to read a lot into.
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[ yeah. sad but accepting, that's the feel, as he makes a little bit of a face. the paladin of the raven queen life - where you can mourn the dead, but never pity them. ]
...It was good to be there, in the temple. I wasn't really doing it on purpose, just - was the first thing that came to mind. [ absently, his hand comes up again, pressing over his chest, on those raven wing marks. if anyone would get this part of that whole experience, it would be shale. ] ...Good to see Her.
[ her, in this case, being the raven queen.
for someone who spent a really, really long time struggling with accepting his fate and his position, his fear of the raven queen has long since developed into something else - it's almost comforting. after all of that questioning last week, he just feels more... balanced. ]
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...Yeah, I understand what you mean. It reminded me of Her, too. Different Her.
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[ mellora. not a name he's unfamiliar with, but percy's religion check sure helped with that one! there's a little curiosity, too. ]
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[was that meant to be keyleth or was that the wildmother. or both? or neither? who can say.]
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... he frowns, for a moment, thinking. thinking about riff, and his hesitation to remember, and about shale - and the way he could maybe help.
... ]
... Do you want to see one of her temples?
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See one of her temples?
[they sound sort of uncertain what he means? sometimes the simulation room is weird to you and you have not gone there.]
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...I've been to the one in Vasselheim - the Birthheart. Someome had us bury their ashes there, and Kiki - well. I've been. I could probably remember the details well enough to recreate it.
[ ...there's a beat. ] ...If you want to.
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...We could go give it a look, yeah. Sounds kind of interesting.
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vax nods, though. ]
Let's.
[ and if shale will let him, he'll lead the way out there! off to the simulations room they go.
it is of course very bland and boring, at first - just a plain white room with white walls. vax makes his way over to the little panel and settles down with his hand on it, closing his eyes. ]
...Ready?
[ just one last check in. ] Get your eyebrows.
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I'm ready.
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the world around them blooms with color - trees sprout up, up, up above their heads, leading to a grid-shaped series of walkways. distantly, shale will be able to see farmland, rich with bountiful harvests that never seem to end: golden wheat fields and bright green plant life alike bloom endlessly, despite the snowflakes falling from the air. there's a brisk breeze in vasselheim, from vax's last memory in this place, and they can see people milling about on the walkways through the forests, sometimes couples holding hands, in all manners of life from humans to elves to dragonborns to firbolgs to even a goliath. occasionally, one walks by wearing green and white robes.
there are two, much larger trees the closest to them - the birth heart. they bend together and create an archway of branches and trees that knit into each other and wrap around, and just beyond that, there's an even larger tree, with the faint glow of golden light filtering through the branches of the knotted, intertwined archway that signifies the beginning of the birth heart.
the air here feels fresh, clean. it's not vax's temple, but it's familiar, and so he rolls his shoulders back as they enter, and glances over to see shale's reaction. they'll have to walk a bit, but, this is: ] ... The Abundant Terrace.
Birth Heart's that way. [ gesturing to the big tree arch. ]
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but it's when they see the tree, the golden light filtering through the branches, that's when they stop.]
I've been here before.
[no, that outburst is replaced by confusion. no, they haven't, not here, but something is...]
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this feels... well. it feels a little like maybe what he's supposed to do. like what his time with the raven queen will be like, when all is said and done - like a guide, to fate, or to the great unknown.
he watches those vines for a moment, and looks at shale, and then - even if they're a statue - offers out his hand? wordlessly, silently, his emotions reflecting a little of the purpose of this moment. if shale wants to walk on, then they can walk on, standing here at the edge of a moment, but they won't have to do it alone. ]
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How do I...
[a glance towards the panel. they haven't tried this.]
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