[ off to pruning! he'll pick up a pair of shears and join him, steady.
he doesn't say anything at first, mostly because shale is too good and vax has been prone to the occasional bout of vengeance, but he also knows that's the truth. sure didn't bring percy back when they ruthlessly merc'd ripley. it took the love of their group and some powerful fucking magic, instead. so, there's just the quiet emotion of recognition, of mulling that over. ]
Knowing catching someone gives them a chance for a little absolution - that's good. [ so. he agrees with that, too.
as for guesses... he snips a bud off. i dont know how to garden. ]
... Hot Pants. Percy said she's got a big spray can. Could've made the... [ he reaches up and puts his free hand up near his own forehead, knocking gently. ] ... And, the fucking blood was a pair of pants, which sounds like a joke.
[listen. shale has been willing to hang around and chill for some bouts of vengeance. he didn't even know the nein yet when they merc'd lorenzo he was just along for the ride. he's offered very honestly to just murder trent if caleb would like this. but when you get down to it, it's all about feelings, there's not much point.]
Yes. I don't know about absolution, exactly. We haven't really talked about any of that.
[what happened with percy, all of that.]
But I think there's an opportunity to do something good. Or at least something better than turning into a goat.
[he prunes carefully, taking out a couple leaves, and heaves a sigh.]
Okay. So, you have a suspicion. What will you do with it?
[ well, yeah. that's maybe not the best word, but - he feels like shale probably gets it. the chance to be able to admit to what happened, or to at least recognize what you've done, that has to mean something. it would to vax, were he in those shoes.
"do something good", sticks, though, and he's quiet for a second longer. ]
...Something good. [ he echoes, though, it's got the faintest undercurrent of frustration to it. ] Just - I don't know what.
Last week, I felt pretty powerless. [ this he'll admit freely, plucking a dead leaf off of a plant. ] Like... I've got all these skills, at home, we've been in this situation [ with percy and the whole orthax thing ] before, we handled it, and....I couldn't do shit to help him, here. Just had to sit and watch and wait. I barely slept - kept thinking I was gonna wake up and he was gonna be a fucking rainbow goat, one day, and I'd have to put him out of his misery.
[ there's a swoosh of obvious anxiety, there, but he pushes pass it. ] ...guess I'm not that good at patient. I want to do the right thing, I just don't know what it is, besides wait.
Useful bastard. [ warm! warm. he's obviously very fond of his own cleric, so.
it's hard to just accept that answer - you are sometimes, powerless. (the difference between this pc and the one with raiden is truly incredible, actually) and he nods. his emotions aren't... happy, or comforted, really, but they aren't miserable, either. a sort of state of acceptance, agreeing with what shale says.
ah, the question keeps him from falling too hard into his head, though. vax makes a little noise. ] Better. [ there's some relief, there. ] Back to normal, feels like. Think that's all I can ask for.
Yeah. [ yeah, it is. another chance - a chance to bring him back to vex. ]
...if you get a look at him, can you tell me what he - [ vax sort of gestures at himself. soul?? refract?? ] ...what it looks like? Compared to last week? Whenever.
[ it might help soothe some of that residual anxiety, anyway. ]
[ it's not really surprising, to hear, but vax does deflate just a little. only a little. it's just going to have to be unknowns, and putting his faith in percy, for now.
there's a little pause. ]
... How're we doing so far? [ this question is a little wry. ] In terms of being worth believing in.
[gently because he knows you are not joking you dork.]
This is a group of good people. You see that, don't you? A lot of big hearts. [...] People are dying here. It's bad. But I've watched a few of you realize someone may be sick and dangerous, and work all week to find a way to help them. I've watched one of you leave messages in an alley to remember the dead, and another of you leave flowers behind, and every week a little bit is added to that and not one person is left out. You all...work together to find out what happened behind each death and then when you have your answer you show kindness. There are even people here who receive prizes they could trade back for powers to defend themselves, but they use them to help others instead. Protecting each other, or helping solve a case.
[he's quiet for a second.] ...Even heard, about a week ago, of one person who happened upon a power who could prevent a death from occurring, and rather than saving that for themselves, they used it to save the life of the first person who needed it. And now somebody is alive because of that person and they haven't said a word.
Each of those things are all miracles, and that's what I find worth believing in.
vax stays quiet as shale talks, just, tending to the plants, but it's obvious he's listening. his emotions sort of swell, as shale speaks - a quiet fluster, at first, as he mentions the messages and the sickness, falling into soft affection for the others, underneath all that melancholy. shale's right - the people here are good. for someone who has struggled so hard to trust throughout most of his life, he's found his way here. stumbling, sometimes, but nevertheless, found a way.
... the last part, though. that catches his attention. he sucks in a soft, surprised breath, emotion fluttering, and his head turns to look at shale. he can probably see the unvoiced question all over vax's face, as he just - ] Who...
[ ... but trails off, because he doubts shale will tell.
there's a long pause.
he swallows. ]
...yeah.
[ for a minute, that's really all he has, voice rough, and a little wet, feelings just a mess - hope, and misery, and gratitude, and exhaustion mingling all together, and leaving him tongue tied.
[well a lot of those examples were things you did, bud, but shale has no way of knowing that, probably. his passive perception would have to be insane for that to happen.
anyway, aww. it's arm around the shoulders time. it really has been a long day.]
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he doesn't say anything at first, mostly because shale is too good and vax has been prone to the occasional bout of vengeance, but he also knows that's the truth. sure didn't bring percy back when they ruthlessly merc'd ripley. it took the love of their group and some powerful fucking magic, instead. so, there's just the quiet emotion of recognition, of mulling that over. ]
Knowing catching someone gives them a chance for a little absolution - that's good. [ so. he agrees with that, too.
as for guesses... he snips a bud off. i dont know how to garden. ]
... Hot Pants. Percy said she's got a big spray can. Could've made the... [ he reaches up and puts his free hand up near his own forehead, knocking gently. ] ... And, the fucking blood was a pair of pants, which sounds like a joke.
[ some distant part of him thinks that november
probably thought that was funny ]
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Yes. I don't know about absolution, exactly. We haven't really talked about any of that.
[what happened with percy, all of that.]
But I think there's an opportunity to do something good. Or at least something better than turning into a goat.
[he prunes carefully, taking out a couple leaves, and heaves a sigh.]
Okay. So, you have a suspicion. What will you do with it?
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"do something good", sticks, though, and he's quiet for a second longer. ]
...Something good. [ he echoes, though, it's got the faintest undercurrent of frustration to it. ] Just - I don't know what.
Last week, I felt pretty powerless. [ this he'll admit freely, plucking a dead leaf off of a plant. ] Like... I've got all these skills, at home, we've been in this situation [ with percy and the whole orthax thing ] before, we handled it, and....I couldn't do shit to help him, here. Just had to sit and watch and wait. I barely slept - kept thinking I was gonna wake up and he was gonna be a fucking rainbow goat, one day, and I'd have to put him out of his misery.
[ there's a swoosh of obvious anxiety, there, but he pushes pass it. ] ...guess I'm not that good at patient. I want to do the right thing, I just don't know what it is, besides wait.
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Sure. I'm used to being able to bring people back from, well, a lot of things.
[they get what it's like to be missing tools.]
Sometimes you are powerless. But what I'm getting at is the exercise of finding out who it was seems like...a useful exercise.
How's Percy doing, by the way?
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Useful bastard. [ warm! warm. he's obviously very fond of his own cleric, so.
it's hard to just accept that answer - you are sometimes, powerless. (the difference between this pc and the one with raiden is truly incredible, actually) and he nods. his emotions aren't... happy, or comforted, really, but they aren't miserable, either. a sort of state of acceptance, agreeing with what shale says.
ah, the question keeps him from falling too hard into his head, though. vax makes a little noise. ] Better. [ there's some relief, there. ] Back to normal, feels like. Think that's all I can ask for.
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I'm glad. Whatever happened to him, whether it's gone or not, we have him now. That's a wonderful thing.
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Yeah. [ yeah, it is. another chance - a chance to bring him back to vex. ]
...if you get a look at him, can you tell me what he - [ vax sort of gestures at himself. soul?? refract?? ] ...what it looks like? Compared to last week? Whenever.
[ it might help soothe some of that residual anxiety, anyway. ]
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[he frowns a little.]
...I wish I could. But if he was, still, I wouldn't - I wouldn't be able to tell you that. Not without risking doing some harm.
Some of these things, unfortunately, I can only... do my best not to try to guide you to the right path, and believe in all of you to get it right.
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[ it's not really surprising, to hear, but vax does deflate just a little. only a little. it's just going to have to be unknowns, and putting his faith in percy, for now.
there's a little pause. ]
... How're we doing so far? [ this question is a little wry. ] In terms of being worth believing in.
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What have you done that would make you doubt you're worth believing in?
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vax opens his mouth, and then closes it, surprised, hands pausing where he was pruning a plant... then huffs, and ducks his head. touched?? ]
...was just joking, Shale. [ but, shale might get the sense it wasn't that much of a joke. they've fucked up a lot so far! whew!! ]
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[gently because he knows you are not joking you dork.]
This is a group of good people. You see that, don't you? A lot of big hearts. [...] People are dying here. It's bad. But I've watched a few of you realize someone may be sick and dangerous, and work all week to find a way to help them. I've watched one of you leave messages in an alley to remember the dead, and another of you leave flowers behind, and every week a little bit is added to that and not one person is left out. You all...work together to find out what happened behind each death and then when you have your answer you show kindness. There are even people here who receive prizes they could trade back for powers to defend themselves, but they use them to help others instead. Protecting each other, or helping solve a case.
[he's quiet for a second.] ...Even heard, about a week ago, of one person who happened upon a power who could prevent a death from occurring, and rather than saving that for themselves, they used it to save the life of the first person who needed it. And now somebody is alive because of that person and they haven't said a word.
Each of those things are all miracles, and that's what I find worth believing in.
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or not!
vax stays quiet as shale talks, just, tending to the plants, but it's obvious he's listening. his emotions sort of swell, as shale speaks - a quiet fluster, at first, as he mentions the messages and the sickness, falling into soft affection for the others, underneath all that melancholy. shale's right - the people here are good. for someone who has struggled so hard to trust throughout most of his life, he's found his way here. stumbling, sometimes, but nevertheless, found a way.
... the last part, though. that catches his attention. he sucks in a soft, surprised breath, emotion fluttering, and his head turns to look at shale. he can probably see the unvoiced question all over vax's face, as he just - ] Who...
[ ... but trails off, because he doubts shale will tell.
there's a long pause.
he swallows. ]
...yeah.
[ for a minute, that's really all he has, voice rough, and a little wet, feelings just a mess - hope, and misery, and gratitude, and exhaustion mingling all together, and leaving him tongue tied.
vax closes his eyes.
...it's been a long day. ]
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anyway, aww. it's arm around the shoulders time. it really has been a long day.]
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... he will accept this arm, leaning into it a little bit, and just exhaling. the tension comes out of his shoulders with it, just drooping.
... ]
Think you give better hugs like this. [ this is soft, a weak little joke. ]
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[soft. but yes enjoy a big fuzzy firbolg hug.]
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....thanks, Shale.
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[he says that strangely confidently.]
Maybe not everything, but in important ways.
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[ he's not always the most optimistic person in the world, but - that confidence does help, a little bit. ]
Nothing else, I'm getting pretty fucking good at gardening by hand. [ ok that's also a joke. but he is!! its true!! ]
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