[ shale's got him dead on - the idea of a narrow path, of high responsibilities. but, the raven queen in the time that vax has known her has always been flexible. his path had an end destination, but how quickly or slowly he chose to walk it, or what direction he chose to get there, was always up to him. it was comforting, made the idea of having such a destiny a tiny, tiny bit less terrifying.
so, vax gets it. he listens, attentive, quiet, nodding along when shale points out their similarities... and their lack of it, here. he - laughs, just a little, a huff as he drops his head. ]
...'s kinda freeing, isn't it? And kind of fucking terrifying, at the same time.
[ aw. if shale's hand is close enough, he reaches out to cover it with his own, briefly, letting out a little huff. ]
...Feel like talking about the Crystallines wanting to control everything was years ago, at this point.
[ but - especially with those purple petals, he squeezes a little. it's a place where they're different - vax would rather have a little control over it, but only a little - but all the same, he gets the sense of abject fear. ] Always fucking terrifying, but it's a little less scary to do when you've got a bunch of good people at your back.
[ the smile on his face is small and genuine - his tone, too. it's a mixture of emotions, but empathy and compassion come to the forefront, maybe just a little hesitant, in the way where he doesn't feel nearly so confident giving out help and advice and support with his words, and tends to ramble his way through it. ]
Yes. And I do feel that there are a lot of good people here. [he laughs a little, fond, but will let him take the hand.]
I think...my choice, my control in this, comes down to whether I try to prevent all of you from doing what you choose to do. I don't...feel I have control beyond that. That's frightening, and a relief.
[a big huff of breath, and then he coughs some purple petals again.]
It's complicated for me. I have things I might want, but I don't feel that I have the right to make the decision for others. If it turns out Bass, Riff, and Steel want to keep this place stable and safe then I'm...going to pick that over what you all want to do.
But I don't feel particularly confident in that course of action.
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so, vax gets it. he listens, attentive, quiet, nodding along when shale points out their similarities... and their lack of it, here. he - laughs, just a little, a huff as he drops his head. ]
...'s kinda freeing, isn't it? And kind of fucking terrifying, at the same time.
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[...and he will cough up a few purple petals.]
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...Feel like talking about the Crystallines wanting to control everything was years ago, at this point.
[ but - especially with those purple petals, he squeezes a little. it's a place where they're different - vax would rather have a little control over it, but only a little - but all the same, he gets the sense of abject fear. ] Always fucking terrifying, but it's a little less scary to do when you've got a bunch of good people at your back.
[ the smile on his face is small and genuine - his tone, too. it's a mixture of emotions, but empathy and compassion come to the forefront, maybe just a little hesitant, in the way where he doesn't feel nearly so confident giving out help and advice and support with his words, and tends to ramble his way through it. ]
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I think...my choice, my control in this, comes down to whether I try to prevent all of you from doing what you choose to do. I don't...feel I have control beyond that. That's frightening, and a relief.
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[ for riff and bass, for steel, and for shale. being able to come to the decision to make choices on your own.
he pats his hand a little, squeezing. ]
...So what're you thinking, Shale? Have you decided what you want to do?
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[a big huff of breath, and then he coughs some purple petals again.]
It's complicated for me. I have things I might want, but I don't feel that I have the right to make the decision for others. If it turns out Bass, Riff, and Steel want to keep this place stable and safe then I'm...going to pick that over what you all want to do.
But I don't feel particularly confident in that course of action.
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Makes sense. [ he doesn't seem offended by it. ] Really leaning into that support role, huh?
[ that's a little teasing, at least. ] Have you talked to the three of them about it?
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