daggering: i am in "time oute" at groncery (20)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-08 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
[ thanks! i love shibuya!

vax looks vaguely like he wants to fight one of these cars when it goes zooming through him and hearing a familiar voice is kind of a relief. he turns his head and then goes right over help ]


- Walked through the fucking archway, how else! [ WHAT THE FUCK ]
daggering: whoops I still most pretty today ? (95)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-08 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ it's beau

off he goes!! thankfully, the staircase is much less distressingly loud. vax will spare one last look out to the city before the door shuts, and then pull his hood back down. ]


You're used to living in a place like that?

[ also i guess

does that earring look familiar to vax, not to sisi ]

Edited 2022-03-08 03:47 (UTC)
daggering: happy stare war. may the forks be on you no try. (14)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-08 12:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Huh. [ fucking WILD ] Makes Emon look like the backwater of bumfuck nowhere.

[ all this technology. he's gonna tell percy he saw this, later, because inevitably percy will be a giant nerd about it. also bass deserves more friends.

he may be staring a little at that earring as he enters the apartment! maybe a little too long. vax use your words. ]
daggering: (131)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-08 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he taps his ear! ]

Yasusada got it to you. [ earring!!!! ]
daggering: respetc the drip (94)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-09 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[ of all of the things in here - and there are a lot of things, little and cramped but bright - what catches vax's eyes are the blurry, colorful posters.

they get his mouth to quirk up in a smile, and he pushes his hands into his pockets. ]


Reminds me of Riff's. [ nerds ]
daggering: officer he asked me to do it (9)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-09 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[ oh, that makes him smile even further, and this time it's fond. he doesn't say anything though, squinting at the posters, and then the unblurred picture and keeping that to himself. riff, your best friend is right here you silly child

... well. anyway. he opens his mouth to say something about the picture, because this is awesome (grog would dig the axe), but as vax glances up, he spots the bubble.

he mutters, just a second too late: ]
Ah, shit.

[ ...it's too late it is descending. at this point, he knows these things are basically impossible to avoid here we fucking go

blub ]
daggering: "dortito the dortito with eyeballs" has perish in a unexpect incident re: beak involved eating (114.)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-10 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ i was GOING TO i just wanted to give you a chance to react gosh

anyway!! vax looks at the bubble, frowns, and mutters - ]
Fuck it.

[ not like he's gonna make the staticy sometimes npc do it! ]


you stand outside of a slowly smoldering town, but the mood here is not miserable. it's hopeful, maybe. the dragon umbrasyl has been slain, and the goliaths and giants who ransacked the city of westruun have been vanquished, and vox machina stands once more victorious, with another powerful vestige weapon in hand.

as you all decide your next moves, and say goodbye to kerr and the people of westruun, though, you are anxious. the anxiety has never left you, but when you stop moving, you can feel it like a familiar weight in the back of your throat, and as you are all deciding where to go next, you blurt out a location. ]
I have to go to Vasselheim.

[ vasselheim, the holiest city in exandria. the place where the gods temples are their strongest, a place you have all been many times. a place you used to feel as though you couldn't walk in correctly, and now... now, you still aren't sure.

five heads swivel to look at you, vex'ahlia, perhaps the longest. your sister stares at you as the conversation continues, as you fumble awkwardly through an explanation. you can go alone, or pike, maybe -

vex cuts you off. "Well, I'll go with you."

because you two are never parted. but you cannot bring vex with you, here, and you shake your head, and she looks - hurt, and a little confused, and unhappy, and you cannot look her in the eyes as you deny her. you don't want vex to have any part of this, just in case, just this one thing - just in case the raven queen changes her mind, in case something goes wrong -

you're so far in your own head you're in a tailspin, and the only thing that shakes you out of it is a tiny hand that wraps around your wrist.

when you look down, it's pike, one of two gnomes, your cleric. she looks at you with those big, soft eyes, and you feel the guilt in your throat rise even higher, but pike pulls you to the side.

( from 3:40:06 to 3:46:07ish )

"I know you've been avoiding me. And I just have to say, I don't know who this-- I don't know who or what this Raven Queen is, and I think that's what scares me the most. But I know if you're choosing a life of faith or whatever you want this to be, I'm happy for you."

but that's not it. it's not - it's not, it's not -- you take pike's hand, and you pull her away even further, out of vex's earshot, away from her clever lip reading, where you might be able to finally bear the weight on your shoulders. your sister cannot know. she cannot know how much you are suffering, not now. she can't. ]


Did the others tell you what happened in the tomb? In the sunken tomb?

[ pike shakes her head. "I'm getting bits and pieces." the words just come loose, slowly, and then faster, and faster, and you can't stop yourself. ]

I have been avoiding you. Percival-- [ no, you stop. you start again. ] There was a trap, and Vex'ahlia-- [ you stop, again, the weight of the pain so heavy in your chest at the memory that you have to force yourself to keep going. ] I almost lost Vex'ahlia, and a woman appeared. Not a woman. A god appeared. She appeared, and I did something. I tried to save my sister. I did something stupid. I tried to bargain. I didn't even fucking want the armor that I'm wearing right now! I didn't want it. [ anxiety rattles your voice, here, and you suck in a breath, beacuse you're so unsure, you're so fucking unsure, and you're terrified, and the words just keep coming, and they won't stop - ] I don't think I've ever told you how much I admire you -

[ "Vax-" ]

I always have. You have a kindness about you that comes with such ease and honesty. You have always carried a light. Her light. I think, you know, I admire everyone in our band of misfit toys, but you most of all, and when you left, we all noticed its absence. All of us. I think I wanted to find it again for myself. Hers. Your benefactor. I felt Her, and I told myself that when you came back, I was going to come to you and I was going to learn from you, and follow you and follow Her. As soon as you came back.

[ the words just keep coming, and coming, an coming, and you can't stop yourself. pike means so much to you. pike, and sarenrae, a goddess who gave you something to believe in, a path, a purpose - a path that has now been wrenched away by the raven queen, and you can't stop yourself as you keep talking: ]

And like so many things that I reach for in this life, it slipped through my fingers, and I've gone and painted myself into a corner. I can't anymore. And I think when I saw you, it was just a reminder of what I lost. I'm sorry for avoiding you.

[ you exhale.

pike softens. "Don't be sorry. I understand now. And...I don't think that you're lost in any way. I think if you felt in some way that this is who you've needed to follow, then follow her."

and you don't know how to tell her that that isn't it. you don't know. but pike, pike is so good at pulling things like this out of you, and you missed her so much, that all you can do is start to deflate. it's too big. it's too much.

how can you tell her how sad you have always been? how can you tell her, that finally having a purpose - that you felt like you finally grab one with your own hands - means something to you? how can you tell pike that you're fucking terrified because you've lost the chance to even choose?

you inhale. ]


...Well, the bottom line is I couldn't walk away if I wanted to, because I know that I would lose my sister. [ and you cannot, cannot, cannot have that.

... ]
But I don't want to anymore.

[ and, like the light peeking through the clouds, you reach your conclusion. the raven queen has marked you, will be taking you in exchange for the vex'ahlia who smiles at percy across the way.

... ]
We've all been close to death, all of us, and now I'm just a little bit closer. It took me a bit, but maybe we're not meant to be happy. I don't know.

[ because why would you be?

pike reassures you, in her way. tiny, fierce pike. she reassures you, tells you that isn't true, that you are able to be happy. in fact, she threatens the raven queen, and it startles a wet laugh out of you, and she tells you - i love you, vax, it is going to be fine, and I am here for you, no matter what, and you can talk to me any time.

and you feel a weight from your shoulders lift, as you admit, quietly; ]
I was all kinds of fucked up a couple of weeks ago.

[ pike laughs at you, and pats you on the arm.

Well, you are all kinds of fucked up all the time, and that's why we love you. We're all all kinds of fucked up, and that's why we all are together.

and for the first time in a while, you feel like maybe things will be okay. ]
daggering: (132)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-10 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ this memory leaves him feeling...warm, really, and what bass says does, too.

he laughs a little - it's always so strange, to have your life put on display in front of others, to have people see you just falling apart at the seams - but bass's point is a good one. ]
...Yeah. She is. Pickle's amazing.

[ the affection is open and honest in his voice - he really does admire her, really does look up to her, even now. though...some of that warmth shifts into something bittersweet, and vax nods. ]

... it was. She - [ even now, it's hard to talk about. even now, as something close to a human again here, as a revenant, maybe as a celestial someday, vax will dream of that night. ] .. she died. I offered the Raven Queen my soul in exchange for hers.
daggering: (60)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-10 12:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[ they can absolutely do that, vax is a great emotional support bird. he shifts a little to make sure they're comfy, but otherwise stays steady, still a little in the memory.

at the comment, vax - huffs, a little and says, honestly, wryly: ]
I was fucking terrified.

[ of what? not of the exchange - of losing vex, more than anything his first blush instinct was courage, but when the wind in his sails faded and vex'ahlia was safe, he was alone in his thoughts, in the moment of what did i just do. ] Maybe not right then, but afterwards - 's like I said. I was a fucking mess.

Think maybe being brave's just about doing stuff anyway, though. Maybe it's just not thinking.
daggering: (63)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-10 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[ same hat

he laughs at the nudge, and returns it. relaxed, really, after that memory. ]


Maybe that's why you two are so close, yeah? [ riff and bass being besties is nice to hear about, too, considering his conversation with riff earlier. ] Balance each other out.

Percy's like that, too. Keeps us from dying, half the time. Some of the time.
daggering: just founde out.. i DO have knees. (29)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-11 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ snrk. ]

Yeah, well, he's run in to do plenty of stupid shit on his own, too. Don't think too highly of him.

[ this is teasing, too, in the way that you have to dunk on someone you basically consider your brother. as vax is saying this, he glances over, though, and sees the bubble. ]

Ah, shit - [ and reaches up like he's going to touch it again? ]
daggering: (132)

[personal profile] daggering 2022-03-12 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ haha wild!!! wow

... it's a hard memory to watch.

the girl's assessment of bass is not off - that they shine, so brightly. he can see it here, too - can't all of them?- and for a moment, the heavy weight of bass's grief weighs hard on his shoulders as he blinks free of the memory and back into reality.

before he's even really realizing it - he knows that bass has his wrist - he shifts his hand free to reach over and hug him. ]

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[personal profile] daggering - 2022-03-12 14:25 (UTC) - Expand