[shale understands. there's a similar feeling in response, a little concern, but also calm.]
We're pretty good at taking care of people here. I don't blame you guys for being worried, what with everything that's happened since you got here. But we're not going to let anybody get hurt.
he - something flashes across vax's face. acceptance, at first, at least at his own situation he can't imagine that the raven queen wouldn't find a way, or that he wouldn't be able to find a way to bring her purview to this placae, or something,
and then it changes, because he thinks about percy, and he thinks about vex, and his gut twists, and all of it shows on his face. ]
[ he doesn't stand up, but immediately just - runs a hand over the top of his hair, that panic and worry and gutwrenchingly anxious compassion in his jittery movement, in his white knuckles, like he could find a way out. ]
My sister, they're fucking - they're married, I left and she has him, and he promised he'd take care of her. He can't be stuck here. She'll be -
[ some of the wind comes out of his sails as the reality of it just hits. ]
[ it's -- it's worse, somehow. it's not shale's fault. the feeling of growth and decay both like that just set off those same vibes as the comforting ones he'd found when he first came in here. because growth (and decay, really, decay in blight) is keyleth and the pain is suddenly so big it's hard to breathe around, a monster of a reminder of all the things he's lost.
vax shakes his head, hard, jerking back from the table. ]
It can't - like fuck it can be that way! He doesn't - he doesn't even know yet, he doesn't even know what I do, he's got a whole fucking life to live with her when I'm gone. Percival has to go back - I'll stay forever. I'll stay longer. Disintegrate me into fucking dust, again - I don't fucking care, he has to go back.
[ desperation, there, like a caged animal. vax is so ready to throw it all away when he's already thrown it all once - to make that same decision, for vex'ahlia, alone. for vex'ahlia, crying when they touched foreheads one last time, for his entire heart.
what was acceptance has turned rapidly into anything but, and there's a strained quality to his voice on the final word. ] Shale, I'll do anything.
[poor vax. shale sits and lets him do what he needs to do, watching him with a hard to read expression.]
...If it was something I could control, I'd do it without you doing any of that. But you're bargaining with the prism. Might as well bargain with nature, or with death. It doesn't always bargain. Sometimes it just is what it is.
[and sometimes it does let you bargain, but how many chances do you get?]
But you don't have to accept it. Not now, not yet if you're not ready to.
[ sharply, fiercely. that's what he's supposed to be on now, isn't it? the fine line between life and death, the between place, the one who reaps and watches and holds the threads. his own thread to vex, severed like every other in his life, for her to live, until he saw her again when it was over.
shale's answer helps, just a little, if only to solidify that same determination. (and, if it was something i could control, i'd do it without you doing any of that, too. the sincerity is there.)
vax takes a deep breath. ]
I won't. [ quietly, determined, nearly vibrating with it.
he can't accept it, and he won't. ] If you could leave, would you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...nn. [ he can jive with that, though he doesn't say it. finding the good in the bad. making it through.
... ] What about red? That's the other one I've got, I think.
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...yeah, there's a code word for that one and everything.
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[ shale may get the sense that he is poking a little bit at himself here ]
Means "Vax is about to do something stupid", according to my sister.
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Sounds like a sister thing to say. Is she right?
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Not all the time.
[ just like 99.9% of it ]
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[ who will reveal this great secret of modernity ]
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Can I use it?
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[ amazing ]
Next time you're in a pinch, just shout "jenga!" and I'll come bail you out. Promise.
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[then again. they did send that help message.]
But I will. You seem like the type who can be counted on to come running.
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Got that impression already? [ a little laugh. ] Guess so. Never been good at leaving well enough alone.
[ thus the jenga ]
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[though they are already slightly worried for vax.]
You and your friend getting along with people? I haven't met him yet.
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but, he makes a little noise of agreement, returning to his food. whether that's to getting along or to needing people like that, who's to say.... ]
Well enough. Percy'll come to talk to you, probably. He's the nosy type. [ affectionate ] There are a lot of kids here, though.
[ which, a little of that compassion does bleed through there; a little worry, frowning at his meal. ]
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[shale understands. there's a similar feeling in response, a little concern, but also calm.]
We're pretty good at taking care of people here. I don't blame you guys for being worried, what with everything that's happened since you got here. But we're not going to let anybody get hurt.
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... yeah. [ shale, this is a murdergame ] I'm not gonna let anything happen to 'em if I can help it, either.
[ though... ] They're... the kids. The others. They're not going to be stuck here, are they?
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I value honesty, and my opinion is... there isn't a way back. Once you're here, you're here.
Some of you aren't ready to accept that, and that's okay, too. But that's my opinion on it.
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oof.
he - something flashes across vax's face. acceptance, at first, at least at his own situation he can't imagine that the raven queen wouldn't find a way, or that he wouldn't be able to find a way to bring her purview to this placae, or something,
and then it changes, because he thinks about percy, and he thinks about vex, and his gut twists, and all of it shows on his face. ]
- Shale. Shale, Percival has to go back.
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Talk to me. What happens without Percival?
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[ he doesn't stand up, but immediately just - runs a hand over the top of his hair, that panic and worry and gutwrenchingly anxious compassion in his jittery movement, in his white knuckles, like he could find a way out. ]
My sister, they're fucking - they're married, I left and she has him, and he promised he'd take care of her. He can't be stuck here. She'll be -
[ some of the wind comes out of his sails as the reality of it just hits. ]
She'll be alone.
[ not that. anything but that. ]
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[a stone hand comes down and rests on his shoulder. heavy, feeling cool and like growth and decay all at once.]
It's painful, to imagine your sister that way, and to feel helpless.
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vax shakes his head, hard, jerking back from the table. ]
It can't - like fuck it can be that way! He doesn't - he doesn't even know yet, he doesn't even know what I do, he's got a whole fucking life to live with her when I'm gone. Percival has to go back - I'll stay forever. I'll stay longer. Disintegrate me into fucking dust, again - I don't fucking care, he has to go back.
[ desperation, there, like a caged animal. vax is so ready to throw it all away when he's already thrown it all once - to make that same decision, for vex'ahlia, alone. for vex'ahlia, crying when they touched foreheads one last time, for his entire heart.
what was acceptance has turned rapidly into anything but, and there's a strained quality to his voice on the final word. ] Shale, I'll do anything.
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...If it was something I could control, I'd do it without you doing any of that. But you're bargaining with the prism. Might as well bargain with nature, or with death. It doesn't always bargain. Sometimes it just is what it is.
[and sometimes it does let you bargain, but how many chances do you get?]
But you don't have to accept it. Not now, not yet if you're not ready to.
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[ sharply, fiercely. that's what he's supposed to be on now, isn't it? the fine line between life and death, the between place, the one who reaps and watches and holds the threads. his own thread to vex, severed like every other in his life, for her to live, until he saw her again when it was over.
shale's answer helps, just a little, if only to solidify that same determination. (and, if it was something i could control, i'd do it without you doing any of that, too. the sincerity is there.)
vax takes a deep breath. ]
I won't. [ quietly, determined, nearly vibrating with it.
he can't accept it, and he won't. ] If you could leave, would you?
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