makes sense ill have to thank him later then if thats what it was seems weird maybe shale has an answer for why ill talk to him later if he was cursed im pretty sure he needs time to cool off
oh that a bunch of very shitty stuff happened we were playing a game things started getting out of control as missions got harder people died the end of the city happened at least twice and the stopping point was me watching everybody get erased before going back to a timeline where they never existed so yeah learned a lot or more like things i knew just got confirmed and the middle pieces became more clear
Bass - it was a few weeks ago. He made a joke about me being the 'grim reaper', and then started staticking out. It was before we saw your faces. Guess that makes sense, now.
If we fix things I'll go back and rip whoever did that a new asshole I don't care if it's across universes or whatever
yeah i think...when we started playing the game it was just the two of us and then he signed us up to be a team in the game and we started recruiting new members until there were six of us all together ...that girl i told u about she used to be one of the reapers before they kicked her out and she joined us shoka thatll be really impressive considering i dont even know who did this i cant remember that part just that it happened
only because i asked her to she didnt really have anywhere else to go so i thought it made sense to ask her to join our team even if she used to really piss me off and she kinda betrayed us but then she decided to stay with us anyway she never told me she knew me before we met irl tho i only found out before i got sent to the new timeline idk none of this really makes it easier to tell bass either way
Maybe not, but... Iunno. Think it's not bad to remember stuff like that, either. And if she decided to stay, think that matters. ...Trust is hard. I get that. Think you're an even bigger person than me if you let her back in so quickly. You can't tell me everything you remembered about that girl's bad. You deserve those happy memories too.
As for telling Bass. I can try and poke around and see if he'll tell me the last thing he remembers, if you really want, but I think its got to be you, still. Sometimes the hardest shit is what's worth the most doing. I don't think it's gonna get any easier. You're just gonna psych yourself out of it, the longer you wait, you know.
...she's the one who tipped us off that the shinjuku reapers wanted to destroy shibuya they were gonna let her go back to their side but she said no i remember her...and the others from my team even the good things but remembering the good things kind of hurts too im not sure its supposed to be that way i dont know i know i have to do this myself dont i have a little more time at least?
Mm. ... I dunno. Sometimes, I remember stuff about home, and it hurts. My sister and Percy're married, when I'm from. They'll have kids, one day. I'll never get to meet them. Fucks me up, even now. I accepted it - doesn't make it hurt any less, sometimes. Don't think that shit ever really goes away. So, maybe it's supposed to be that way. Or, at least it is for people like us.
Tell me about the rest of your team, someday? I wanna hear it.
[ there's a little pause between messages, here, the icon of someone typing and stopping.
...it always seems to come down to that, doesn't it? just a little more time. ]
...You know how the end of the week goes.
[ he probably doesn't have to elaborate on that one. ]
so how do u make it hurt less? even if u accept it why do we have to accept these things anyway? i mean i get why but its just... its not fair for anybody ...i dont want to believe someones gonna refract again but its almost like a schedule now once it started it became harder to contain i get ur point
I think because... Everything in life's got to have some kind of balance. Good stuff, bad stuff. Shit that hurts, shit that doesn't. Life, death, all of it. It's the way of things. Sometimes it's shitty and unfair and pointless. Sometimes it's fucking amazing.
It took me a long time to stop just Existing. Going from place to place and surviving. Never had any purpose until I met *my* team. I know now I'd rather hurt than just exist. I learned to lean on the people that I love when I needed it, maybe especially when I didn't want to. Decided to send a big middle finger to all the awful stuff in my life and keep moving forward, even when everything totally fell apart. Even now that I know I'll never see them again, or - at least not for centuries, for most of them, they're still with me. So I think I don't ever really make it hurt less. I think I just love, more. Balance it out. I told Bass the same thing. It's better to love and lose than to never have loved at all.
I know you lost everything, and I know you're still trying to remember. I know it's fucking scary as hell. We're here for you too, you know. If you go back to that world, and you've got all this stuff going on with death, I can think of a matron who'd want a champion to go check that shit out. I'm not going anywhere. Neither is anyone else you've met, here. Even if we're not right next to you, we're still with you.
[ also wow, rindo, weekly murder? who would do that!!! whomst
the second part's answer is succinct after the Vax Pep Talk (TM) because he knows riff gets it. he doesn't need to harp on it. ]
...im still learning i think thats what it all comes down to im scared and im still learning and i dont want to be alone when this is over so i guess...
["this isn't a game to play alone."
doesn't that apply here, too?]
im scared of people forgetting as soon as they leave like this place never existed and we never existed its easy to say now that people will be with us even when they leave but...i just have to trust u guys dont i
there's no pause for his messages at all - they come one after another. ]
I won't forget you. Can promise you that. ... That's something I've been dealing with, too. If I wanted to be remembered or not. Think being here made me realize I do.
...All I have when this is over is being remembered. So. You promise not to forget me, and I won't forget you either. And then I'll come find whoever caused you those problems in that stupid game and deliver them an ass kicking courtesy of the Raven Queen while we're at it. Sound good?
i said this to hot pants once wondering what was worse: not having people around and not remembering or not having them around and being the only one who remembers theres been so much confusion here about remembering things and what we should do if we should and how we should that i think...making the choice to want it is important for both of us right? its not like i could forget u even if i tried ...but ok keeping each other accountable and remembered until we meet again sounds good to me
[it's still scary!! and he's still a little unsure, but like. this does help. it's the start of maybe starting to accept that they really, really do have to change things.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ill have to thank him later then if thats what it was
seems weird
maybe shale has an answer for why
ill talk to him later
if he was cursed im pretty sure he needs time to cool off
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Later's a good idea. I know he was worried.
Speaking of. You talk to Bass yet?
[ no escape ]
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uggggh
no
ive been busy
[with WHAT.]
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[ vaxildan "i walk away" vessar ]
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[this is like. after a while of leaving vax on read, and there's the . . . like he's going to continue but eventually he leaves it like that.]
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Told anyone else yet?
[ which is a nice way of asking "do you want to talk about it" ]
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she said i didnt have to take it
but it didnt seem fair not to after a while so i did
[which is a way of saying "i am still processing because it's a lot of information."]
ending is still the same as i remembered tho
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what do u mean?
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What'd you learn from it?
[ im distracted by wet bread my tags make no sense i apologize ]
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oh
that a bunch of very shitty stuff happened
we were playing a game
things started getting out of control as missions got harder
people died
the end of the city happened at least twice
and the stopping point was me watching everybody get erased before going back to a timeline where they never existed
so yeah
learned a lot
or more like things i knew just got confirmed and the middle pieces became more clear
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[ who did this to my child??? shakes joshua like a rat ]
That last reset's what you told me about before, then.
Shit, Riff. 'm sorry.
When'd you get the pin back?
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play to come back to life
or face erasure
but yes
thats about what i can guess
marceline came over yesterday
so i got it back then
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Oh.
Makes sense.
Bass - it was a few weeks ago. He made a joke about me being the 'grim reaper', and then started staticking out. It was before we saw your faces.
Guess that makes sense, now.
If we fix things I'll go back and rip whoever did that a new asshole I don't care if it's across universes or whatever
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i think...when we started playing the game it was just the two of us
and then he signed us up to be a team in the game
and we started recruiting new members until there were six of us all together
...that girl i told u about
she used to be one of the reapers before they kicked her out and she joined us
shoka
thatll be really impressive considering i dont even know who did this
i cant remember that part
just that it happened
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That's good. Did you remember any more about her? Shoka.
Yeah, won't be the first time I've run into something daggers blazing without any information
Usually works out okay
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she didnt really have anywhere else to go so
i thought it made sense to ask her to join our team
even if she used to really piss me off
and she kinda betrayed us
but then she decided to stay with us anyway
she never told me she knew me before we met irl tho
i only found out before i got sent to the new timeline
idk
none of this really makes it easier to tell bass either way
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Iunno.
Think it's not bad to remember stuff like that, either.
And if she decided to stay, think that matters.
...Trust is hard.
I get that. Think you're an even bigger person than me if you let her back in so quickly.
You can't tell me everything you remembered about that girl's bad. You deserve those happy memories too.
As for telling Bass.
I can try and poke around and see if he'll tell me the last thing he remembers, if you really want, but I think its got to be you, still.
Sometimes the hardest shit is what's worth the most doing.
I don't think it's gonna get any easier. You're just gonna psych yourself out of it, the longer you wait, you know.
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they were gonna let her go back to their side
but she said no
i remember her...and the others from my team
even the good things
but remembering the good things kind of hurts too
im not sure its supposed to be that way
i dont know
i know i have to do this myself
dont i have a little more time at least?
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... I dunno. Sometimes, I remember stuff about home, and it hurts.
My sister and Percy're married, when I'm from. They'll have kids, one day. I'll never get to meet them.
Fucks me up, even now. I accepted it - doesn't make it hurt any less, sometimes.
Don't think that shit ever really goes away.
So, maybe it's supposed to be that way. Or, at least it is for people like us.
Tell me about the rest of your team, someday? I wanna hear it.
[ there's a little pause between messages, here, the icon of someone typing and stopping.
...it always seems to come down to that, doesn't it? just a little more time. ]
...You know how the end of the week goes.
[ he probably doesn't have to elaborate on that one. ]
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even if u accept it
why do we have to accept these things anyway?
i mean i get why but its just...
its not fair for anybody
...i dont want to believe someones gonna refract again
but its almost like a schedule now
once it started it became harder to contain
i get ur point
[he just doesn't really like it.]
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Everything in life's got to have some kind of balance.
Good stuff, bad stuff. Shit that hurts, shit that doesn't.
Life, death, all of it. It's the way of things.
Sometimes it's shitty and unfair and pointless.
Sometimes it's fucking amazing.
It took me a long time to stop just
Existing. Going from place to place and surviving. Never had any purpose until I met *my* team.
I know now I'd rather hurt than just exist.
I learned to lean on the people that I love when I needed it, maybe especially when I didn't want to. Decided to send a big middle finger to all the awful stuff in my life and keep moving forward, even when everything totally fell apart.
Even now that I know I'll never see them again, or - at least not for centuries, for most of them, they're still with me.
So I think I don't ever really make it hurt less. I think I just love, more. Balance it out.
I told Bass the same thing.
It's better to love and lose than to never have loved at all.
I know you lost everything, and I know you're still trying to remember.
I know it's fucking scary as hell.
We're here for you too, you know. If you go back to that world, and you've got all this stuff going on with death, I can think of a matron who'd want a champion to go check that shit out.
I'm not going anywhere. Neither is anyone else you've met, here. Even if we're not right next to you, we're still with you.
[ also wow, rindo, weekly murder? who would do that!!! whomst
the second part's answer is succinct after the Vax Pep Talk (TM) because he knows riff gets it. he doesn't need to harp on it. ]
I know you do.
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...im still learning
i think thats what it all comes down to
im scared and im still learning and i dont want to be alone when this is over
so i guess...
["this isn't a game to play alone."
doesn't that apply here, too?]
im scared of people forgetting as soon as they leave
like this place never existed and we never existed
its easy to say now that people will be with us even when they leave
but...i just have to trust u guys dont i
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there's no pause for his messages at all - they come one after another. ]
I won't forget you.
Can promise you that.
... That's something I've been dealing with, too.
If I wanted to be remembered or not.
Think being here made me realize I do.
...All I have when this is over is being remembered.
So. You promise not to forget me, and I won't forget you either.
And then I'll come find whoever caused you those problems in that stupid game and deliver them an ass kicking courtesy of the Raven Queen while we're at it.
Sound good?
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wondering what was worse: not having people around and not remembering or not having them around and being the only one who remembers
theres been so much confusion here about remembering things and what we should do
if we should and how we should
that i think...making the choice to want it is important
for both of us
right?
its not like i could forget u even if i tried
...but ok
keeping each other accountable and remembered until we meet again
sounds good to me
[it's still scary!! and he's still a little unsure, but like. this does help. it's the start of maybe starting to accept that they really, really do have to change things.]
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